VODKA [GXG, INTERSEX] (BOOK 1)

Chapter 20

SPG: VIOLENCE ⚠️⚠️⚠️

VODKA

What's more to life than darkness?

The darkness in me had been triggered and was unlocked by the revelation of the girl I once loved. Her words tored me into pieces. She betrayed once again, twice this time. She lets out the monster, the demon that was living inside of me. I succeeded in burying that monster in me when I was in prison, I hated it. It made my life miserable, it became stronger now.

She was crying in front of me, she even had the guts to cry.

The voices were ringing in my head telling me to kill.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled covering my ears, the voices died down.

I looked at the changed girl in front of me, I can't almost recognize her. Half of her hair was like the color of mine, brunette. But the roots were her natural blonde. Her green eyes showed how scared she was, but she was scrutinizing my every move.

Her words were still playing in my head along with those fucking voices!

"What she showed you is not real."

"She's pretending to be me."

"I don't love you anymore."

"I can't love someone like you, a monster."

"You're the spawn of a devil."

All I did was to love a girl. I showed her how genuine I was, but she's not there to witness it since it was her twin sister who received all of those I've done. I was a fool. They made me look stupid!

It hurts being betrayed by the one you loved.

"Get up!" I told her, she looked up at me and stood up.

I gripped her arms and made her look into my eyes.

"Please, Vod, it hurts." She sobbed, her eyes that once captivated me are now glossy and can't stop shedding those tears.

"IT HURTS? YES! IT DOES HURTS!" I yelled.

My grip tightened around her arms, making her wince in pain. I pushed her body to the wall, I cocked my head to the side and grinned at her.

"Vod... Please come back, hindi ikaw yan. Don't listen to those voices in your head. Please, Vod..." She pleaded.

"Don't listen to her."

"She gave you pain, right?"

"She's the one who unleashed us."

I heard their laughs which made me also laugh. It was a sound that was both familiar and foreign, a reminder of a life I had once known, a life that felt so distant now.

I stared at this girl who keeps on begging and begging and-

"Hey! Get away from her!" I was suddenly pulled back by someone and punched me hard in the face, it was a woman that I don't recognize, she's wearing a cap that covered almost half of her face.

She held me at gunpoint, her eyes cold and unforgiving. I watched her help the girl and then they left, disappearing into the shadows like ghosts.

I was left alone in this hellhole, once again. I sat and hugged my knees.

It was all coming back, they're here.

I can hear their footsteps, those men wearing leathers. They surrounded me, their shadows looming over me like vultures circling their prey.  Some of them spit at me, their faces twisted in disgust, and laughed out loud, their laughter echoing in the empty space, a sound that sent chills down my spine.

"Look at this child of an Antonov!" one of them sneered, his voice dripping with contempt.  "An abomination indeed, who the fuck in the world would have fucked up genitalia? Of course sino pa ba, edi mga Antonov." They all laughed again, their laughter echoing through the emptiness, a chorus of hate and mockery.

The one holding a bat and was chewing gum, he smirked at me, his eyes glinting with malice.  He prepared his bat, the wood gleaming under the dim light, and I felt that pain again, the memory of the previous beating flashing before my eyes.  I kept on screaming for them to stop, my voice hoarse and raw, my little legs already badly injured from the previous assaults.

"Oooh, go on. Scream for your Mamas, they think so highly of themselves." He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The other man pulled my hair, his grip tight and painful.  He forced me to stand, my body trembling with fear and exhaustion.  He pushed me into the small cage that could fit my little body, the metal bars cold against my skin.

"Walang kwentang bata!" he spat, his words laced with venom.

I was trapped, alone, vulnerable.  The darkness closed in around me, suffocating me, swallowing me whole.  I felt a wave of despair wash over me, a feeling of utter helplessness.

***

DUSK

She needs help.

"Vodka needs help," I started.

Dito na kami sa room niya nag-uusap. She's examining each of my bruises that Vodka gave.

"So hindi mo pa pala ito balak sabihin sa akin?"

"Balak ko naman, hinihintay lang talaga kitang lumabas sa kwarto mo. Bakit ka nga ba kasi nagkulong?" I asked her. I had been worried sick about her, wondering what had happened to make her shut herself away from the world.

She sighed, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and frustration.  "It's just... I've been trying to figure things out," she said, her voice barely whispering, "Nevermind about that, let's get back to you. About Dmitri. Kailangan niyang bumalik sa kulungan, she's dangerous." Padalos-dalos niyang saad.

"No, Dawn. Tulong ang kailangan niya, sa rehabilitation ang dapat para sa kanya. I saw the different side of her, lalo nung tinitigan ko yung mga mata niya. It was the demons inside of her, it's my fault to trigger it out. Grabeng nasaktan siya in this mission, I never thought that it would have a great impact for her in a negative way. Pero I knew from the start that there's something about her mental health nung kami pa. I can't diagnose such mental illnesses yet as of now, but that's what I can see from her. It explains her aggressiveness and violence, I don't want to conclude anything. She just needs help." I explained to her.

"Pero is there any childhood trauma or background that may lead her to being like that?" I can sense concern and anxiousness with the tone of her voice.

"I remembered, nakwento niya sa akin noon. She was kidnapped when she was a child, by one of those enemies of her family. They tortured and abused her, physical and verbal." I said, my voice is heavy with the weight of the memory.

She gasped, her hand flying to her mouth.  "What?!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock and horror.

"Vodka didn't delve into details, pinahapyawan niya lang ako ng mga ganun. That's the reason why I wanted to study Psychology, I'm curious about how the minds and behaviors of humans work. So now, kahit gusto ko siyang tulungan, I have to finish my degree first and get that license. Vodka would be my first patient, for free."

"Where is she now?"

I shook my head, "Hindi ko alam, Linux helped me get away from her." I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that I had left her alone there.

"Linux was here in the Philippines?" She asked surprised.

"Yes, susunduin daw ako dito sa Pinas. At that time, she was looking for me, dahil nga may plano kaming iayos yung papers ko. Pero I was trapped by the demons of Vodka."

"I'm worried about Dmitri," she said. "Kung kailangan niya pala ng tulong, then tulungan ko siya."

I shook my head, "Hindi ganun kadali, Dawn. Isa pa, baka saktan ka rin lang din. Lalo pa at ikaw ang gumawa ng mission, kahit pa ako ang umako sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa sa kanya. Hindi pa rin tayo nakakasiguarado na hindi ka niya sasakyan."

"Pero Dusk-"

"Hindi nga niya ako nakikilala that time, nakakarinig talaga siya ng boses, there are possibilities din na gamitin ang voice ko para manipulain ang utak niya. That's how dangerous and very serious mental illness is. Yung ibang tao, they discriminate against people who have mental illness. Kapag may unusual na nakita nila sa isang tao, they would immediately say 'baliw' or 'addict'." I shook my head, rubbing my temples.

I will come back for you, Vodka.

***

A/N: For people's awareness po, I'm NOT romanticizing those people with mental illnesses. This is just to show how the dark minds of some people can influence them to do such a thing, where their traumas could justify their actions. Remember that this story is FICTION.

The views and opinions of the character do not reflect the views and opinions of the author. Thank you for understanding.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISKS.