The Side Character Club (TSCC) - Discontinued

The Elites' Monthly Panic Sessions and The Talk

Trigger Warning: content may be sensitive to those who have been kidnapped or have been in similar situations.

Let me break the fourth wall real quick and say this: the talk is not what you're thinking. Please CHANGE YOUR THINKING.

You know, I thought about ending the world, but I realized it was too much work. Today, I'm regretting it though, because apparently the Elites have some kind of strange monthly ritual that involves going through a bunch of "tests" to make sure that we are still in shape to get kidnapped. Yes, and I only learned about that yesterday.

We don't know when they happen (only that it's monthly), and it's rotational of who organizes them.

I would explain more but I don't feel like it right now. I mean, give me a break, I'm literally tied up.

You probably can imagine my surprise when I woke up to someone bagging my head, duct tape on my mouth, and the holy quartet (aka, duct tape, handcuffs, zip-ties, and rope) around my wrists, binding my hands together.

My reaction right now can be found in an acronym that I'll use because apparently this book is supposed to be free of cursing: FTS.

Use your imagination, and children, for you that means Failing This Stuff.

Totally.

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore -"

I once again use the acronym FTS (but I use the full words) and interrupt the person quoting The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. Yes, I read The Raven, but only because I heard how depressing and dark it was. I rate it 5/10. Not deep enough. Too cheery. And Lenore? Like seriously, there are better names than that! The author only used it to rhyme with nevermore.

"Wow, really, The Raven, Zoe?" I hear a voice that-sounds-mysteriously-like-Claire's say.

"What? Want me to continue while I patiently wait for you guys to worm yourselves out?" Zoe replies, slamming shut something that mysteriously sounds like a book.

Don't look at me like that, I can't see, I'm blind right now! I'm only going on my hearing! I'm officially blinder than a bat! I would talk about the time I had a pet bat... but I don't think you want to hear about a dumb bat.

I swear, that bat was blind and had no skills in echolocation. Too bad it died by slamming into the wall.

"Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December; And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon -"

"ZOE!" All of us cries out. Huh, it seems the whole gang's here. I mean that figuratively. Mainly figuratively...

"Besides, you skipped to the next stanza," commented a voice that sounds mysteriously like Alex.

"Oh, be quiet," Zoe says, her foot impatiently tapping on the floor. Or at least, I think it's her foot. I'm not sure, but someone's foot is tapping.

I struggle to get my hairpins down to my hands and then painfully undo the handcuffs. I hear them fall to the floor, and I hear some of the others' also fall. The holy quartet has now been reduced to the holy triad. Now the zip-ties. Zoe's still tapping her foot, and it starts getting faster.

"While you guys are stuck to sitting on the chair, I was thinking that we should have a talk about the fact we haven't had an MC for a while."

"Mhm," Atalanta says, her voice tainted with drowsiness.