The Blue Hour

Part 13

Prompt:
What are some ways that poor Julian might begin to unravel following the encounter at the bar with Vivi? This could even be months or a couple of years down the line (and obviously heavily influenced by what is happening between him and his wife). I feel like I am going to have Julian and Amelia try and work on their relationship. What are some things that could happen that might indicate their doomed relationship even though they are trying to hold it together? For reference, they are also a perfect appearing couple. She is a good, devoted mother and someone who sacrificed a lot of herself for their family, as many mothers do. She harbors strong resentment for Julien however, for reasons I have not yet developed (perhaps you could suggest some). I have not yet decided on the level of their intimacy but she does not regard sex and deep emotional connection as fundamental to one's existence like Julian does.

Response:
Julian, being deeply affected by the encounter with Vivi, might start to unravel in ways that are subtle yet significant. His stoic nature would keep his inner turmoil largely hidden, but the cracks would begin to show as time goes on, especially as he and Amelia attempt to salvage their relationship. Here are some possible ways he might unravel, as well as potential causes of Amelia's resentment:

How Julian Might Unravel:

1. Emotional Withdrawal:
While Julian is already a man of few words, the encounter with Vivi could deepen his emotional withdrawal from Amelia and their family. He might seem even more distant, spending long periods in thought, staring off into space, or working late just to avoid dealing with the internal conflict.

2. Sudden Mood Swings:
The internal pressure of seeing the love he thought he had lost (Vivi) could make Julian more irritable or prone to mood swings. Even though he's a Libra, the Scorpio moon and mars would heighten his emotional depth, leading to moments where he lashes out or becomes overly melancholic, especially if triggered by reminders of missed opportunities or his dissatisfaction with his life.

3. Obsessive Thoughts:
Julian might start to obsess over the what-ifs, replaying the encounter with Vivi in his mind. He could start visiting places or events that remind him of her, and old memories could resurface frequently. His attempts to be present in his marriage with Amelia might falter as his mind drifts back to thoughts of Vivi.

4. Changes in Physical Appearance or Habits:
Julian might change his habits in subtle ways—perhaps he starts dressing a little sharper or exercising more, subconsciously trying to recapture the confidence he felt when he and Vivi shared their connection. On the flip side, he might neglect his appearance due to his inner turmoil, showing signs of fatigue or stress.

5. Attempts to Rekindle the Past:
Julian might seek out more nostalgic activities—listening to music from his college days or revisiting places that remind him of the time he spent with Vivi. He might begin to romanticize his past, idealizing the version of himself that existed before the burdens of adulthood weighed him down.

6. A Desire for Meaningful Connection:
He could begin expressing a desire for deeper emotional connection, something Amelia struggles to reciprocate. This might manifest in Julian trying to have profound conversations with her or other people in his life, searching for something to fill the void left by his unfulfilled love for Vivi.

The Breakdown of His Relationship with Amelia:

1. Resentment from Sacrifice:
Amelia's resentment might stem from years of feeling like she's had to sacrifice too much—her own dreams, body, or emotional needs—for their family. Perhaps she gave up a promising career or passion when they started having children, and now, looking back, she feels Julian never fully appreciated or reciprocated her sacrifices.

2. Emotional Distance:
While Amelia is committed to their family, her resentment might come from the fact that she has always sensed Julian's emotional distance. Even though they've built a life together, there might have always been a part of Julian that was closed off to her—something she could never quite access.

3. Frustration with His Unspoken Desires:
Amelia might become increasingly frustrated by Julian's inability to express his deeper needs, especially since emotional connection isn't as important to her. She may feel like she's living with a man who is always searching for something more, yet refuses to voice it or do anything about it, leaving her feeling both confused and alienated.

4. Attempts at Rekindling Their Marriage:
They might go through cycles of trying to revive their marriage, like planned date nights, therapy, or vacations. But these attempts could feel forced, lacking the spontaneity or passion needed to truly reignite their bond. Julian, especially after seeing Vivi, might go through the motions but remain emotionally absent.

Possible Events that Show Their Relationship is Doomed:

1. Growing Silence:
Instead of fiery arguments, Julian and Amelia might simply stop communicating beyond the necessities of life. Conversations could become terse, functional, and increasingly rare, with both avoiding topics that stir up discomfort.

2. Physical Intimacy Fades:
If they had some level of physical intimacy, it could start to decline, with Julian either becoming indifferent to it or uninterested. This could frustrate Amelia further, making her feel rejected even though she might not value sex as deeply as he does.

3. Escapism:
Both might find ways to escape their situation—Amelia through her role as a mother, social engagements, or distractions like shopping or gossip. Julian, on the other hand, might immerse himself in work or other hobbies, each time feeling like he's putting a band-aid on the real issue.

4. Underlying Bitterness:
Amelia's bitterness might bubble to the surface more frequently, manifesting in passive-aggressive comments or disdain for Julian's attempts to reconnect emotionally. If Amelia senses his lingering thoughts about Vivi, even subconsciously, it could fuel further tension.

Ultimately, the relationship might slowly unravel as both try to hold onto a life that no longer fits them, with Julian's encounter with Vivi acting as the catalyst for his growing realization that something essential is missing. Despite his best efforts, the tension between his deeper emotional needs and the hollow nature of his marriage might eventually cause him to break under the strain.