The Blue Hour

Part 24

Prompt:
Suppose out of courtesy and overwhelming curiosity thanks to his Scorpio nature, Julian accepts Vivi's friend request. Her profile would very likely include photos and interactions between her and Sebastian. How might Julian feel and respond to encountering this archive of her life?

Response:
If Julian accepts Vivi's friend request, his initial reaction to encountering her profile—complete with photos and interactions with Sebastian—would be intense and layered. His Scorpio nature would amplify these reactions, as curiosity and obsession could make this exploration more emotional than he anticipated. Here's how he might feel and respond to seeing this "archive" of her life:

### **1. Curiosity and Painful Jealousy**:
- **Immediate Curiosity**: Julian would likely spend hours scrolling through her profile, analyzing every detail—photos, comments, status updates. He would want to know everything about her life since their last encounter.
- **Jealousy and Resentment**: Seeing her with Sebastian would sting. The sight of another man in her life, particularly in intimate or joyful moments, would stir feelings of jealousy. He might compare himself to Sebastian, questioning what could have been if he'd been the one standing next to her in those photos. This might lead him to feel both bitterness toward Sebastian and frustration with himself for not having acted differently all those years ago.

### **2. Emotional Conflict**:
- **Bittersweet Nostalgia**: Some photos might trigger nostalgia, reminding Julian of the connection they shared in college and stirring a deep sense of loss. He would likely scroll back through the years, seeing how her life unfolded—wondering how it diverged from his.
- **Resignation vs. Longing**: On one hand, Julian might feel resigned, acknowledging that their lives took different paths, and he has no right to feel jealousy over her current life. On the other hand, the sight of her smiling or interacting with Sebastian might intensify his longing, making him wish he could be part of her life and wondering what their future could have been.

### **3. Analytical Obsession**:
- **Reading Between the Lines**: His Scorpio nature would drive him to overanalyze every interaction. Julian might look for signs in her posts—subtle clues that she's unhappy with Sebastian or longing for something else. He might notice small things like a lack of romantic comments between them or Vivi's body language in photos, interpreting these as hints of dissatisfaction. He'd spend time scrutinizing their relationship dynamics, searching for cracks that might reflect his own hopes.
- **Deep Analysis of Her Current Life**: He might scroll through her friend list, posts, and comments, trying to piece together a picture of her life. This could become a quiet obsession, as Julian tries to find common ground between them or evidence that she thinks about him as much as he thinks about her.

### **4. Emotional Turmoil**:
- **Feeling Torn**: Seeing her happiness (or apparent happiness) with Sebastian might make Julian question his feelings. Part of him might feel relieved that she seems to be doing well, but another part would feel devastated that she seems unreachable. He might struggle with guilt—guilt for feeling something so deep for Vivi while he's still married to Amelia, and guilt for wishing she wasn't happy so there could be a way back to him.
- **Regret and What-Ifs**: The more he looks at her life, the more Julian might feel an overwhelming sense of regret for not pursuing her further in their youth. This would only deepen the torment he's already experiencing. His thoughts might drift to fantasies of what their life could have looked like had he pursued her instead of Amelia.

### **5. Heightened Obsession**:
- **Compulsive Checking**: Even after initially going through her profile, Julian might find himself compulsively returning to it, checking for new posts, updates, or changes. He'd be unable to help himself, despite knowing that it's only worsening his emotional state.
- **Silent Stalking**: He might not "like" or comment on anything for fear of revealing too much, but he would watch her page closely, wondering if her posts or pictures are indirectly meant for him or are reflective of her inner life.

### **6. Conflicted Next Steps**:
- **Hesitation to Engage**: After seeing so much of her life with Sebastian, Julian might hesitate to message her again. He might even start to feel that accepting the friend request was a mistake, but he's too drawn to her to sever the connection. He'd likely wrestle with whether to initiate any conversation, knowing that one wrong move could lead to further emotional entanglement.
- **Increased Internal Pressure**: The intensity of these emotions would likely lead him to start withdrawing from Amelia even more. Julian might feel frustrated or irritable with her, projecting some of his internal conflict onto her without realizing it. The emotional contrast between what he wants with Vivi and what he has with Amelia would continue to grow, making their already strained relationship even more fragile.

In short, encountering Vivi's profile would trigger a rollercoaster of emotions for Julian—curiosity, jealousy, nostalgia, regret, and even obsession. It would deepen his inner conflict, torn between the life he has and the life he can't stop imagining with Vivi.