TW: purging after an overdose, mutual self destruction, body horror (mentioned), physical abuse (mentioned), addiction (Xanax & cocaine), suicide attempt, purging, arguing, alcoholism
A/N: guys I get my next tattoo this weekend RAAAAAH (anyway yall see that pic of Frank Iero with that gun on ig💀)
YOUR POV:
I sat on the cold tiled floor of the hotel bathroom with my head hung over the toilet as I spilled my guts. I figured that all those pills would just make me really sleepy, and that I would fall asleep...nobody told me I would be here instead.
My throat burned with acid, my body ached, my vision was blurred from the tears and I was covered in sweat.
This was pure hell.
I leaned my head against the wall as I was left alone with my sober thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about what everyone said to me and all the worry.
"Make up sex is a dangerous game, Y/N. It can be fun for a bit, but it gets repetitive. Your relationship with Gerard isn't healthy. If you're gonna be addicted to anything...make sure it's being addicted to a healthy relationship."
My relationship is healthy though. He loves me and I love him.
(No he doesn't.)
"I know that you're doing something. You've only been here for a week and half at this point, and I've seen a drastic difference in your behavior and your appearance. Don't think I haven't noticed that you can barely keep yourself up straight! Something is definitely wrong with you, so why won't you just admit it?!"
Nothing is wrong. I'm the same...I'm still Y/N. I'm still me. I just have a few pills to back me up.
(A few?)
"I just don't want to see you dig yourself an early grave."
I'm not sending myself to an early grave.
(Yes you are.)
"You're quite literally killing yourself over him, Y/N. I know that you'd rather get high and ignore the red flags, but your relationship isn't healthy and it's destroying the both of you."
It's not destroying us.
(Then why else are you relying on pills?)
"Y/N, you're human too. I know you're selfless and you think your whole life purpose is to help others, but if you're helping us...who's helping you?"
He needs me. I can't leave him.
(He needs you, but you don't need him.)
"He's a piece of shit that say's he'll get better, but he doesn't make an effort to try and get better. I know you see the best in people, and I know you think that my brother is still in there...but he would have never done this to you. You have to open your fucking eyes and see the truth. You can't always wear rose-colored glasses, Y/N."
He's not getting better because I'm not doing enough.
(You tried your best. But sometimes, we have to let things go.)
"It's not love if it's just fucking, Y/N."
If we make love all the time, it makes up for the fighting.
(Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship. You have other needs.)
"We're all worried about you, Y/N...you don't deserve the constant torment that you're going through...you don't deserve the need to hurt yourself."
YOU ARE READING
Action Cat (Gerard Way X Reader)
Fanfiction"Said I miss you" "Say 'I miss you too'" ••• Y/N met Gerard through art school. They were forced to like each other, given the fact that they were dorm mates for four years straight. Friends turn to lovers. And a healthy relationship turns toxic...
