Life in Benidorm

S7 E3

So it turns out that after yesterday's drama, the Garveys had left right then and there to go to Vegas. I got the sad feeling that that would be the last time we ever saw them. But there was no time to dwell cos there was still tons of other crazy British families here to keep us busy.

Me and Leslie were planning to run a competition involving darts and classic pub quiz questions. I found myself feeling relieved at the fact 'the oracle' wasn't here for it.

The two of us definitely needed an extra pair of hands setting up so I went to the pool bar to get Mateo and sure enough he was there with his back to the bar, fixing his hair.

"Morning, my love" I greeted propping my elbows onto the bar. "Don't suppose you fancy helping me ou-" I cut myself off when Mateo turned round to face me. He looked a bit like someone had pegged all the skin on his cheeks behind his ears. "Wow" I whispered to myself with a look of shock.

"Help you with what?" He said in a flirty voice leaning over the bar so his new face was closer to mine. His flirty line didn't really hit the same because I don't think he was physically able to do his signature smirk.

"Oh that can wait" I told him. "Have you been anywhere since last night?" I asked not taking my eyes off his face.

"No just home" he lied straight to my face.

"And you're feeling...okay?" I followed up still giving him hints that I knew what he'd done.

"Yes of course" he continued to lie.

"Right" I drew out giving him a frown (mainly to show off the fact I still had full use of my forehead). He clearly wasn't going to budge on admitting what he'd done so I just moved back to my original reason for being there."Well, do you fancy helping me bring up some tables from the Hawaiian function room to Neptunes".

"I see. You need someone big and strong to help" he flirted, again with very limited facial expressions. "Don't worry, carina, I am at your service" he then attempted to wink but just ended up looking like his eye was twitching.

I smiled and shook my head at him "You sure you didn't stop anywhere on your way in today?".

Before he had chance to answer, Joyce came over to us. "Do either of you two know about what Kenneth is doing in his-" like me she then saw Mateos face and cut herself off. "Ahh well that answers my question".

It also answered mine - Mateo had gotten it done in Kenneth's salon. I should've guessed to be honest, it's a great way to get money round here.

"Mateo, you haven't been to visit Kenneth at all, have you?" Joyce asked.

"For the last time I haven't been anyway after last night and before this morning" he exclaimed with increasing agitation.

Joyce shot me a knowing side eye, which I returned. 'Close your eyes and lean forward'. She instructed.

"What are you going to do?" Mateo asked backing away a little.

"Do you like working here?" Joyce asked sternly.

"No" Mateo answered with no hesitation. I snorted a laugh at that, mixed with Joyce's unamused face.

"Joyce let's be honest, even you don't like working here" I pointed out to her.

She tutted. "Alright, let me rephrase. Do you need this job?" She had become a bit more annoyed now (which was also quite funny).

"Yes" Mateo answered with a bit more hesitation this time.

"Then close your eyes and lean forward" she repeated firmly.

He sighed but complied. "What are you going to do?".