Life in Benidorm

S4 E6

After yesterday's downpour the entire pool area needed a thorough cleaning which meant I had to get here an hour early. But on the plus side the sun had returned.

When I was deraining the front of the bar Leslie approached me a stupidly sweet smile. I shielded my eyes from the sun and studied her face for a few minutes.
"Okay what do you need?" I asked cutting to the chase. Her face said it all.
"Well I've got this date tonight" she began. Just from hearing this I jumped up with excitement.
"Oh my god Leslie! That's amazing!" I started clapping my hands and jumping around like an overexcited school girl. "Ok do you want me to help you pick out an outfit? Or do your makeup? What is it?". Leslie rubbed the back of her neck.
"Urm well the thing is I need you to come with me" she stuttered. She looked at me apologetically which I didn't get at first.
"Oh ok sure. There's a lot of weirdos about. Don't worry I could get you out of a bad situation no problem at all". I expected her to look happy at my response but her face didn't change. If anything she looked worse.
"No urm not like that. It's kind of a urm triple date thing. I bring two friends for his two friends". It finally clocked in my mind.
"Oh I get it you want me to be one of the two friends". Leslie awkwardly looked at the floor.
"I can understand if you don't want to. You know meeting up with guy who you've..." she rambled on so I put my hand up to cut her off.
"Leslie don't stress. It's fine I'll do it" I shrugged. I honestly don't know why she would think I wouldn't do it.
"Really?" She asked her eyes filled with joy.
"Yeah I mean as long as I don't have to like go home with him after".
"No no nothing like that". I sighed in relief. I was never a sexual person and I hated the idea of having sex as often as Mateo did.
"Then you can count on me" I assured her. A sweet wide smile grew on her face. Suddenly a thought flowed through my head. "Hang on you said triple date? Who's the third person?". Leslie looked like she was thinking but then her gaze fell to the side of me. I turned to where she was looking and saw Mateo playing around with cocktail glasses. "You're joking".
"I saved his job. He owes me one" Leslie pointed out.
"I'll come with then. I'm can be very persuasive".

Without even waiting for her answer I started to make my way over to Mateo with Leslie following. I doubt she would've said no to some help. Mateo was wiping the vodka bottles and then staring at himself in the reflection. I moved myself so I was in the reflection to and the stuck my middle finger up. That got his attention and caused him to drop the bottle and act like he wasn't doing anything.
"Hey amigo" Leslie greeted cheerfully as she appeared at his side. "I need you help". Mateo seemed surprisingly quirky about something.
"Yes what can I do for you my little tr-nny friend?" He playfully punched Leslie in the shoulder.
"Look I'm not one to go pulling in favours but well you know how I kind of saved your job?" Mateo was quick to interject.
"Leslie you did not save my job I lost my job and you..." he paused for a second trying to think of what to say. "You made it happen again".
I raised an eyebrow.
"So she saved it" I clarified.
"Yes" he said straight away. Then it dawned on him he had contradicted himself and tried to fix it. "Wait no no-". I got fed up with his blubbering so cut him off.
"Well either way you have your job and without Leslie you wouldn't have it".
"Is what I am saying" I rolled my eyes deep into my skull. He faced Leslie. "And for this I will help you any way I can". Leslie looked confident that Mateo would agree to coming on the triple date but I thought it was about as likely as her pronouncing his name right. She took in a deep breath.
"Well the thing is I've got a date tonight..." she kinda paused half way through to let it sink in.
"Really" Mateo asked in disbelief. I frowned at him. It was totally believable for her to have a date. "That is no problem me and Gaby will work for you. You go out you have fun meet the man of your dreams. Then marry have little tr-nny babies all is good". I was surprised Mateo was actually willing to work for Leslie. I mean sure he thought I was going to help him but still.
"Well first thing is Gaby is actually coming with me" Leslie explained. Mateo face became very confused at this point. He kept looking between us.
"But I thought you liked men" he finally said. I audibly groaned.
"Oh my god not like that you stupid pillock" I rubbed my temples.
"Well it's kind of a triple date" Leslie said. Mateo still looked confused so I elaborated.
"It means she takes two friends for his two friends" I spoke slowly like I was talking to a child which in a way I was.
"Oh ok but you said it was just you and Gaby who is the third person?" He asked. Me and Leslie said nothing but gave him a look. He eyes bulged out of his face when he realised.
"No no no no no no no" he chuckled a bit but then got serious. "No I am not a homosexual gay".
"What as supposed to a heterosexual gay?" I said in question to homosexual gay. He gave a sarcastic smile.
"No no you wouldn't have to do anything just sit there. I'll even pay for the meal" Leslie was desperately trying to get Mateo on board but he was very resistant.
"No this is not going to happen" he turned his back on us a continued polishing glasses.
"Right so me getting you your job back wasn't such a big deal after all" she spat angrily. I've never seen her so angry. Mateo still wasn't budging though.
It was time for me to play me cards.
I moved closer to Mateo to get maximum guilt "Well it looks like poor Leslie won't be able to go now" I sighed heavily. "It's a shame she was telling me how excited she was to meet this man" I could see in my side vision that Mateo was looking at a sad Leslie holding a single rose in her hand. Just a little bit more. "I mean can you imagine not being to see the person of your dreams because of someone else's selfish attitude". One I said this he slammed down the glass and the cloth and folded his arms whilst glaring at me. I gave him an innocent look. His eyes fell in Leslie.
"I would just have to sit at the table?" He double checked. Her eyes filled with hope and a smile tugged at her mouth.
"That's all".
"No going to dodgy clubs in the old town after?".
"All you gotta do is eat". Mateo took the rose out of Leslies hand and carefully put it in her hair.
"Okay Cinderella you will have your balls" I waved my hands and laughed in victory.
"Oh hey man! I could kiss you!" Leslie shrieked happily as dove close to Mateo. He was quick to stop her though.
"Hey easy!" He scolded.
"Oh sorry sorry sorry" she backed of and danced away feeling good. Mateo whipped around to me who was also feeling good.
"If you feel like you could kiss me I might not stop you" he flirted. Instead of firing back with aggression I took a different approach.
"Oof use lines like that tonight and you'll have to peel him of you with a greased spatula" I smirked as I walked of leaving him stood there grimacing.