Shadows of Yesterday

Chapter 4: This Must be Purgatory

If one more person looked at me like I was a China doll somebody haphazardly glued back together after dropping, I was going to hurl.

I had been too preoccupied during my first two days back in Mirton to notice the stares, the concerned and pitying glances that people were sending my way as I travelled from class to class. Now that the shocks of yesterday were over with, however, they were impossible to ignore. It was making my skin crawl.

In a town as small as Mirton, everyone was always in everyone else's business. If someone was pregnant, everyone knew. If there was a major injury, it was public news. If someone died, the whole town would whisper about it. Even something as minor as car trouble had to be kept tightly under wraps if someone wanted to keep it private. Because of that, I was sure that everyone had heard by now about my fight with Mat and Kat, as well as about my embarrassing rejection by Veronica. 

That wasn't what made my skin crawl, though. People could gossip about my arguments all they wanted if that's what it took for them to be entertained in a town with a single Walmart and maybe ten restaurants if you counted the ones on the borders to other cities. The thing that bothered me was that the way my peers looked at me made it obvious that they knew both why I had originally moved away and why I had been forced to come back. I could see the judgment in their eyes, the thinly veiled pity... and I couldn't stand it.

Even now, standing at my locker, their stares seemed to permeate the metal of the door straight to the shaking hands I was trying to hide by fidgeting with my books. I felt like a disabled shelter animal that had been placed in the front window to draw attention. The only thought running through my head was "STOP LOOKING AT ME!"  Discomfort and anger warred inside me, getting stronger by the minute.

"Jackie!" Kat's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

I slammed my locker shut to find her standing right behind the door. She smiled at me, but I could see the knowing edge to it as her eyes darted around the hallway. My heart constricted in guilt at the sight of her face. "Hey, Kat. Um..."

She just flicked me in the forehead with that same smile on her face. "It's fine, I know. You don't have to say it. Mat and I had a suspicion that's how yesterday was going to go."

She rubbed the back of her neck. "Honestly, I'm the one who should be saying sorry. Me and him both. We had years to tell you about Liam before you came back, and we should've. I'm sorry."

I could hear her voice trembling with the signature tears that came along with any of her serious emotions and sighed. "I think our fight yesterday is enough proof why you were justified in not telling me. Nobody thought I was ever coming back, so you guys probably thought that telling me would just cause unnecessary drama, right?"

Kat gulped and nodded. She looked away. "We still should have told you. I'm sorry. Mat is, too."

"Where is he, by the way? I would've thought you'd come together."

She continued looking at the ground. "Early morning practice."

I rolled my eyes and pulled her in for a hug. "Oh, stop beating yourself up about it. I may not forgive Liam, but I already promised him I wouldn't hold it against you."

Thinking back to our conversation yesterday, I amended my statement. "Okay, well, maybe I didn't promise, but I was already not going to."

"You're a really good friend," she sniffled.

I scoffed. "As if. Now come on, we're going to be late for Personal Finance."

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