Shadows of Yesterday

Chapter 40: Like the Fourth of July... But Softer

We kept dancing out there in the park until my high heels were hurting my feet so much that I couldn't go on. Even then, I hated the idea of this perfect night coming to an end. The air was cold enough to give me goosebumps, and Liam's playlist had long since looped back to the beginning, but I didn't care. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. 

I wasn't really a reader, but I knew that people in books often said they were, "lit up inside like the Fourth of July" when they were happy. What I felt right now was softer than that. It was like a gently glowing lantern inside my chest, casting light on everything and filling me with so much happiness that I could laugh. I didn't want it to stop.

Eventually, we had to leave, though, because park hours ended, and neither of us wanted to get in trouble for overstaying our welcome. Liam picked my heels off the ground where I'd set them a few songs ago, and then he led me back to his car. 

Before he opened the door for me, he pulled me in by the waist and kissed me again, soft and slow. When he pulled back, he was smiling. So was I. Neither of us had really been able to stop doing that all night.

"You're addictive, you know that?" he murmured as he brushed another kiss across my lips.

I giggled, blushing, before reluctantly sinking into the passenger seat. 

We drove all the way to my house holding hands. It started when he reached over and rested his right hand on my thigh, and then I grabbed it with my own, and that was that. Everything seemed so easy with him, so natural. Even this silence was warm. 

"Chipotle," he suddenly said.

My eyebrows lowered. "What?"

"That was when I realized I was head over heels for you." He smiled. "I was already into you. It was hard not to be, really. You're such a strong person, and so direct. You're not always honest with yourself, but you're honest with others, and you try to be the best person you know how to be, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. But when you thought my home life was falling apart and insisted on being there for me, I was a goner." He squeezed my hand.

My stomach did a flip. Lately, it had been doing so many of those that it might as well be a professional gymnast. In a shy voice, I asked, "Where did that come from?"

"I was just thinking about that. You. Us. I'm tired of holding stuff in."

He shrugged like everything he was saying was objective truth and no big deal. 

I blushed. Again. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I knew at your Homecoming game," I confessed. "Well, I admitted to myself that I knew at your Homecoming game. You were being so... so you, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I think I liked you way before that. I'm really good at denial, if you hadn't noticed."

He chuckled and flicked on his turn signal to enter my neighborhood.

I felt like I owed him more of an explanation than that, especially after all the nice things he'd said about me, so I continued. "You're just so kind. And funny. And sincere. And handsome. The first time I remember consciously finding you attractive, it was when we were on my porch after that attic argument with my brother. Your eyes caught the light just right, and I--wow. Your eyes are so pretty. And your smile, and your laugh, and your chest, and..." I cut myself off before I fully started rambling. I was sure my face was as red as the stop sign we had just passed.

Liam's cheeks darkened, as well, and he chuckled. "No, no, keep going, I'm enjoying the ego boost."

I scoffed and lightly shoved his shoulder. Despite how embarrassing this kind of vulnerability still felt, I was glad we said what we said. And that we could still joke around after it without it being awkward. It was easy, just like everything was with him. 

He walked me up to my door after we got back, and for the first time, he stopped on the top step with me instead of one step below. He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and then gently tilted my chin up with his fingers so he could kiss me again. 

He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything." He sighed, but it was a happy sound. "Giving me a second chance. Becoming my friend. Being there for me when you thought I was struggling and letting me be there for you when you were struggling. Letting me kiss you. Just... all of it."

This boy... my heart is done for.

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my cheek against his chest. "Anytime, tiger."

"Tiger?" His voice went from sincere to amused.

I groaned, embarrassed. "I don't know, I'm bad at pet names. Don't laugh!" I smacked his shoulder again when his shoulders started shaking.

He coughed to hide his chuckling and wrapped his arms more securely around me. "I would never...Tiger."

I pulled away and hit him in the chest repeatedly--not hard, just enough to convey my deep embarrassment and exasperation. An indignant sound escaped me. "You are so mean to me!"

He caught my hands, laughing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I couldn't resist."

I grumbled flustered nonsense under my breath when he kissed both of my hands and brought them up to his cheeks. How does he do that to me?

I swallowed, heart pounding. For once, I wanted to be the one reaching for him, instead of him always taking the initiative. It was frightening. How did he do this so easily?

"Will you go out with me? On an actual date, I mean--not one we both pretend is platonic."

His grin lit me up inside all over again. "I would love nothing more." He didn't even have to touch me to melt me.

"Great." My voice sounded breathier than I wanted it to be.

"Great."

Seconds went by without either of us saying anything, and then he joked, "Did you have something in mind, or am I just supposed to read your mind to know what we're doing?"

I scoffed. "I'll figure it out. Just... can we wait until things are..." I searched for a suitable word. "Calmer? Less emotionally scarring?"

"Of course. I'll wait for you until the world stops, if I have to."

I melted.

Again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Heyy! So... this was another chapter that wasn't supposed to exist. This chapter was supposed to be what's going to happen in Chapter 41. But I felt like this moment needed to happen... and I also just wanted to write it lol. I love them so much.

Another chapter added to the outline unintentionally, I guess lol. 5 more chapters to go!

Probably.

I guess most of the people who will (maybe) eventually read this will know that better than me haha.

Fun fact of the day: Finland has more saunas than cars. Weird, but they're probably better for the Earth than cars, anyway lol.

Thank you so much for reading! Don't forget to vote and comment!

-Thea <3