Shadows of Yesterday

Chapter 37: Thomas Jefferson-Induced Flashbacks

I didn't exactly remember going to class after Veronica left, and I didn't remember walking to Chemistry after that, either. One minute, I was staring out at an old school parking lot with too few parking spaces and too many cracks filled with weeds, and the next, I was sitting next to a human lie detector and staring blankly at a smudged whiteboard. My brain kept replaying every minute I'd ever spent with Veronica over the years, every throwaway comment I hadn't caught hard enough. They still didn't excuse how she'd treated me, but just how blind had I been?

"Sorry, I can't come to your party. I know, I tried to tell my parents it's your birthday, but they didn't seem to care."

That one was about the same birthday party I'd been forced to invite Liam to as kids, the one where we'd ended up fighting on top of my window well grate. I remembered that I had been particularly volatile that day, since Veronica had never been barred from coming to my parties before, and I had been looking forward to spending time with her. I should have asked more questions.

"Ugh. My phone got taken away again. I tried to tell them I only failed that class because the teacher lost my final project, but my mom said I was making excuses."

That memory happened shortly after I'd moved to Washington. She hadn't called me in over a month and had generally just disappeared off the face of the planet without explanation. In retrospect, that comment about her mom should have said something... shouldn't it?

"Oh, these? Yeah, I know I need new shoes. I told my dad, but he said that if I really cared about them, I would have made them last longer. Whatever."

The sound of metal on wood interrupted my train of thought. I looked down to find the engraved profile of Thomas Jefferson staring up at me, along with a familiar piece of candy. I picked both items up and looked over at Liam in confusion. "What's with the nickel?"

He grinned. "For your thoughts."

"You could've just given me a penny." I unwrapped the candy nonetheless, using the task as a welcome distraction from my introspection.

Trying to force actual playfulness sounded exhausting, and I was getting tired of purposefully exhausting myself, so I just scoffed and popped the White Rabbit candy in my mouth with a slight uptick of my mouth. His eyes followed the action. I tried not to read too much into it. 

His eyes sharpened with interest. "Oh? I've managed to make it down to the penny rate?"

"For now. You've been unusually endearing lately."

He scooted his chair just a bit closer, then rested his chin in one of his hands and tilted his head slightly. The interest had turned to a bright twinkle. A slow grin spread across his face. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

I tilted my own head to mirror his, but that was the most I could do to make myself behave normally. I was tired of pretending. My voice probably reflected as much when I responded, "I guess that depends on what you think it means."

"I think," he leaned in even more, bringing our faces in close enough proximity that I could feel his breath fanning across my face, "that you never did get to answer me that night. That seems highly unfair, if you ask me." That grin never left his face.

"Ms. Peterson! Mr. Brown!" Came our teacher's sharp voice. "Save your makeout sessions for after class. Eyes on the board, please."

My head snapped around to face her, eyes wide. "But we weren't--"

Her glare and pursed lips cut me off. I felt my cheeks flush, and I slowly sank down into my chair, wishing not for the first time that I could sink through it and into the floor below. The boy next to me just sat in amused silence, not denying Mrs. Grey's accusation. That somehow made it worse.