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this is a bit of a filler chapter. I have two separate songs for this chapter, when you see the other video during the chapter feel free to listen! apologies, this chapter took forever to edit x my exams will be over soon so hopefully chapters will be more frequentl


The Eras Tour was a night to remember, there was a small part of me that didn't want to return back to Niall's performances. Not that his wasn't as good, only slightly less girly and sparkly in comparison. The idea of trading bracelets again was too cute to pass up, I wished desperately that there'd be another opportunity to attend her show again, maybe this time if I planned it well enough I could bring Ashlee with me. She had incredible FOMO after seeing all my photos and videos, and hearing me recount how amazing the night was just solidified her need to attend.

We set up normally at the Cardiff International Arena, a small show in comparison to some of the others Niall had done so far. It was sold out and going to be fully packed. Claire and I drove without Niall, he said he'd get there later. In the middle of the day we drove to the arena, stopping at a drive-through for some coffee. I was emotionally exhausted from everything that'd happened, I thought about trying an online doctor consult to check everything was okay with my health after my blackout, but I figured without any tests it'd be a bit useless. I called Ashlee to tell her, though. I showed her every single photo I took, both professional and otherwise. She gave me her infinite wisdom and medical advice, despite having absolutely zero qualifications to do so.

"You know you might have had a stroke!" I walked through the corridors of the venue, Claire walking silently by my side with Ashlee on the other end of the phone and a FaceTime call active. She googled what might have been wrong with me, running through each option to see if any fit the puzzle piece shaped hole in my evening.

"I don't think I had a stroke, Ash." I grinned at her absurdity.

"Well, how would you know? You passed out!"

"The paramedics would have told me. Or Niall. I promise, I'm stroke-free."

"What about... hold on...let me google it..." She mumbled, her camera froze for a second as she left the app and I entered the greenroom and sat down. There was no one else here yet, we arrived so early that the band and other crew members weren't due for at least another half hour, "It says you could have... severe pain? Does that sound right?"

"I was not in pain, babes. If anything, I was on cloud nine. I was right in front of Taylor Swift, for god's sake!" I rolled my eyes as she worked her way through a list of Google searches as to my possible reasoning for a medical emergency.

"I'm still mad at you, by the way. How dare you go without me!"

I chuckled.

"I know, I'm sorry! I just didn't think you'd wanna come! But next time, we'll go soon." She groaned,

"Yeah, right. Okay... what about... fear or emotional trauma?"

"No."

"Low blood sugar due to diabetes?"

"Nope."

"Standing in one position for too long?"

"Can't be. I was dancing."

"Ugh," She groaned again, becoming more frustrated, "Okay, what about hyperventilation?"

"Ash, it's nothing! Niall even looked after me the rest of the night. It was just a freak, one-time thing! I promise, I'm fine." She paused for a minute, biting her lip as she read the list through.

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