Lights, Camera, Action [N.H]

12

sorry for the delay, I'm working on some newer chapters and moving some things around. i also have started uni again for the semester, so apologies if updates are less frequent! song of  the chapter is a mashup of this love and she!

Walking into the room, a blasting party filled with everyone I'd met so far on tour, plus extras. Lots of extras. The energy was electric, I couldn't stop my body from being vibrated by the loudest music I'd ever experienced. I turned around, catching side profiles as the flashing lights engaged people's figures, noticing each of their features for just milliseconds as lights flashed across them. Everything was blurry, a filter applied to my vision as the alcohol settled like dust into my bones. I put so much effort into walking but it seemed to do so little.

I found my way to a kitchen of sorts, marble coating the top of each surface and covered in bottles, glasses and endless trails of liquor. I darted my eyes around Claire, not finding her and realising I was alone. Alone at a party, I don't even know who's. I assumed it was Niall's, who else would it be? I twirled in circles, trying to spot Claire as I assumed she couldn't be far. A headache twinged its way into my skull, who's house was this? Where am I?

In the midst of my search, I stopped spinning and searching when I spotted Niall himself. Stood in the middle of a crowd of people, dancing and moving in a wave of bodies. He was kissing another woman. Hard. Their whole bodies moved, like it was a tremendous effort. He was so occupied with her, a pit deep inside my stomach making itself known. The thought of his tongue on hers made my skin crawl, watching their intimate scene made me nauseous, but I couldn't look away, it was like watching a horrible car accident. 

Just as I thought I couldn't take the horrible feeling burning my skin anymore, he disengaged from her lips, but went straight to attaching himself to her neck. She tilted her jaw to the side, allowing him access to her skin. He dove his face into the curve of her jaw, leaning down to attack her with a disgusting hunger. She opened her lips, glossed and shiny. It seemed as if everything around the pair of them slowed down as I no longer had the capacity to focus on anything but them. I felt like I was going to be sick, I wiped the sides of my mouth, becoming aware of the dryness. Just as I was about to excuse myself to nobody in particular to go throw up in the toilet, she closed her lips and looked right at me. Standing still, I stared at them. The feeling of nausea rose in me, I felt like I hadn't eaten in days and the blood rushed out of my head to my feet. My hand flew to my mouth, I tried to scream.

It was me.

Me kissing Niall. In the middle of the dance floor.

I locked eyes with myself.

I clawed at my throat, trying to rip it open to allow the sound to escape.

And with that, I woke up.

I shot my eyes open, a yell escaping my lips. The second I realised I was in a bed and alone in a hotel, a deep sigh of relief left my lips. My body was covered in sweat, my sheets disgusting and damp. Unfortunately, the feeling of dread did not leave my body when I realised it wasn't real. The immense feeling of horror engulfed me, realising I just had a dream about him. He wouldn't even leave me alone in my fucking sleep. It had been days since our encounter, we were leaving for Belfast soon for his first show. As a crew we were all flying there to begin his tour, it was almost a week or so away from the opening night. The first several shows were incredibly spread apart, I assumed to allow the crew to mingle, work themselves into the routine, become familiar with the setup, and give everyone a chance to rest in between.

I rubbed my eyes, wishing it would rid my brain of the most horrible sight I had managed to concoct. I couldn't remember the last time I had a nightmare, if I could even consider it one. It was disgusting, and the worst part about it? I was jealous. Before I realised it was in fact me, the girl Niall was kissing, the feeling of watching Niall basically mouth fuck another girl made me feel physically ill. Wishing the feeling would go away, I got out of bed and left it a mess. I put as much distance between me and the bed, trying not to engage with the nightmare-fueled space. With my hands up in surrender, shaking my head I walked away from the bed as if I could communicate with it.