I stopped feeling today
Like I ripped out my heart and threw it in the sea
Like I spit out my brain on the silver plater that once held my meal
Like I swallowed poising and wait in the empty for it to kick in
I hold on to my smile
The heavy rests in the corner of my room like a worn out jumper
The tears flow back into the tap, to be swallowed by clouds once again
The world I tried to avoid now spins inside of me like a music disk
I don't dance along
I just stand there, in the middle of a room that should be mine
I just stand there, wearing a body I call mine
I just stand there, unattached to the reflection that wants to swallow me
I am no longer scared
Of the monsters that replaced the closet for train stations and hallways.
Of the monsters haunting every corner of my perfect normalcy
Of the monster that wears my skin and shares my brain
For I stopped feeling today
