Between You and Me (A college hockey romance)

Twenty-seven

Lennon

Greyson sits in the passenger seat of my car. We're parked in an empty parking lot on the outskirts of campus. The conversation we had at Arlo's left my head in scrambles and my heart in even worse condition. 

I'm in no position where it's ok for me to feel that way, because we agreed that it was only going to be a hookup. Yet I feel the way I feel. 

And judging by what he let slip, he felt it too. If only for a brief moment. 

But then again, how can I trust anything that comes out of his mouth? That devastatingly perfect mouth of his..

"I don't understand how you expect me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth" I say, after we've sat in silence for a moment. 

He sighs, running his hand through his now messy brown hair. When I walked into the diner and saw him sitting at my booth, he was wearing a cap, but he has taken it off now, and thrown it in the backseat. "Let me explain" he says. Actually, it sounds more like he's asking. 

I pull my knees up to my chest, and turn in the seat to face him. I decide to actually let him speak and not jump to conclusions. I should get a medal for that, honestly. 

"When Coach approached me and told me I had a meeting in his office, your dad didn't even cross my mind" he starts. "I haven't probably ever really thought about him." 

That makes me laugh a little. "I'd hope not"

He matches my laugh, before continuing. "I can see how you and Owen came to that conclusion but I promise you, Lennon. Those two things are completely separate". 

Greyson looks at me. "Even if it was somehow linked, I'd never, ever put you - or anyone else - through that. I know I have a reputation but I'm nothing if not honest" 

The man I know of, and have heard so much about, is nothing like the man sitting in front of me. He's so much more mature than he's let on before. Why doesn't he let everyone see this side of him? 

"I want to believe you, Greyson" I sigh, my voice laced with skepticism. "It just wouldn't be the first time someone has used me to get to him, so my trust in that department is not exactly sky-high." 

I'm being a lot more vulnerable than I ever planned on being with him. I was fully prepared to be annoyed with him for the rest of my life, but the way he's approached this is surprisingly honest. And I realize this whole thing has been because of me. If I had just asked him about it weeks ago, none of this would have happened and I wouldn't have spent the past few weeks in my head about it. 

I just don't know how to deal any differently. 

Anything that has to do with men, friendship or otherwise, leaves my guard up so high it should be impossible to tear back down. I jump to conclusions like it's a sport because why would they want anything to do with me, when my dad is who he is?

It's pathetic but thats just how my brain is wired. 

Greyson nods, his eyes never leaving mine. "I get it, I really do. I'm sorry it got to this point" 

Warmth spreads in my chest because despite everything, I do actually believe him.  "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions" I reply. "Even if it is entirely on brand for me". 

He laughs, and it's a throaty, belly laugh that I've never heard from him before. The trademark charming grin is back on his face and I can't help but smile. We settle in a silence that I usually would find stressful, but is actually comforting. 

"So we're friends then?" I ask, holding out my hand. He looks down on it, scrunching his eyebrows together, looking at me like I've just presented him with the most outragous question. 

He holds my gaze for a second, before taking my hand. "That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life, but sure, we're friends." 

Our hands shake and I know he also feels the electricity that runs through them. I'm reminded once again what a catastrophic mistake it would be to not let this man and what happened between us go. He has the potential to make my whole world come crashing down and that's a scary possibility. And that's just from knowing him on a surface level, I don't even want to know what would happen if I got to know more of what's underneath the tough exterior he wears. 

We release each other's hands, and Greyson leans back in his seat. I do the same, leaning my head back. We let out a deep breath at the same time, as if the rest of the tension that's been between us leaves and settles in a comfortable silence. 

"So, friend," he says, a mischevious glint in his eyes when he turns his head to look at me. "What does that even entail?" 

"What do you mean?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. 

"Like have you hooked up with all your friends?" he teases. I smack him in the shoulder and he tries to dodge it, but ends up holding his arms up instead. He laughs. 

"Yes" I joke and he stops laughing, mouth dropping wide. 

"I fucking knew it" he says. "Why else would Owen be so angry" 

"I was joking!" I gasp and he looks at me for a second before he smiles. "I know" he laughs and I roll my eyes. 

This feels strange, but in a good way. It feels normal, and comfortable and I decide not to overthink it or what it means, and just enjoy it for as long as it lasts. 

"Seriously though, what is the dynamic between you two?" he asks, and for the first time I think he's actually nervous. He looks away but after a second, the usual, confident grin is back on his face and I might have actually imagined that it dissappeared. 

"He's my best friend" I tell him. "He's like my brother." 

"But you have brothers" he says. So he has kept some tabs on what my father was up to. Greyson must see the look on my face because he adds, "Everyone knows Christopher Levine has like a million sons that can bring the legacy forward or whatever." He feigns nonchalance and to be honest, it's a little endearing. 

"You're right" I say, deciding not to tease him about it. "I have four brothers, but Owen is like my fifth. Like an older brother I never had and sometimes wish I didn't have, but would never change for the world." 

"So you never... did anything?" Greyson asks, crunching his nose like it's inconceivable to be friends with someone you don't hook up with. I shake my head. "Why the hell did he punch me then?" 

"Because he's very protective." 

"So am I but I don't punch my best friends." 

I shoot him a look because that's not even remotely true. "Fine" he relents. "Well I think he's missing out" he winks and I roll my eyes, feeling the blush creep up my neck spreading on my cheeks. 

"Rule number one in our newfound friendship" I hold one finger up towards him. "We don't talk about that night" 

"Okay, we won't talk about your two orgasms" he shrugs, smirking. 

"Greyson!" I squeal, holding my hands over my ears, cringe running down my back. I really hate hearing those words. He laughs, holding his stomach. 

"Fine, I can agree to those rules" he says when he has finally catched his breath. 

"Let's shake on it then" I hold my hand out for the second time tonight and although he's rolling his eyes, he shakes my hand.