Sleep, My Love

Chapter 31

Rylan

Astria really did turn colder. Lagi niya akong iniiwasan kapag sinusubukan ko siyang kausapin o magpaliwanag. Kahit magmukha akong tanga na hinahabol siya, I still do it.

I can't deny na nasaktan ako sa mga pag-ilag niya sa akin. Ni hindi manlang ako tinignan. It felt like she was intentionally making me invisible in front of her.

Kahit anong lapit ko, kahit anong gawin ko, I still couldn't get close to her. She always had an excuse to keep her distance, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to grab her attention.

I decided to attend her thesis defense. I slipped into the back of the room quietly, careful not to make a scene. Hindi niya alam na narito ako, and I planned to keep it that way, at least until matapos ang presentation niya. My heart raced as I found her standing at the front, confidently delivering her thesis defense.

Nang matapos, I couldn't help but clap a little louder than everyone else when she finished, adding a small cheer. My smile widening. Hindi ko napigilan. I was so proud of her.

Then, she looked at me. Sandali lang, pero ramdam ko agad na hindi niya gusto ang presensya ko roon. Her brows furrowed, and she quickly looked away, as if dismissing me entirely. Masakit, pero naintindihan ko. Alam ko kung bakit siya umiwas.

But even if she didn't acknowledge me, I stayed there, proud and in awe. Watching her excel like that only reminded me why I couldn't stop caring for her even if she wanted me to.

The moment I saw her at the party, everything around me seemed to fade away. Parang siya lang ang tanging tao sa buong lugar. My heart skipped a beat, but then she turned away, pretending not to see me. It hurt more than I expected.

I tried to focus on my group, sa mga kasama ko, but no matter what I did, my eyes kept searching for her. I told myself to stop looking, pero kahit pilitin ko, she always managed to pull me back, even without trying.

When our eyes finally met, kahit saglit lang, I felt a flicker of hope. But she looked away almost immediately, and I couldn't ignore the sting of rejection.

Bakit ba ang hirap mong abutin?

Naiinggit ako sa mga kasama niya dahil nakakalapit at nakakatawanan pa nila siya habang ako, nakatingin lang sa malayo, looking like a sore loser.

I found myself waiting outside the restroom, leaning casually on the wall, trying to look like I wasn't affected. But deep inside, I was nervous as hell. When she finally came out, I swallowed my pride and spoke.

"Can we talk?"

"Not now, Rylan. Babalik na ako."

"Kailan mo ba ako bibigyan ng pagkakataon na magpaliwanag sa 'yo?" My voice sounded steadier than I felt.

She refused, of course. Her words were cold, and I could feel the wall she built between us. But I wasn't going to give up. I had to try.

"Gagi, bro, nandito 'yung Eloise, hinahanap ka sa amin," biglang sumulpot si Hayes, kinakamot ang ulo niya. "Nandoon sa table natin, ayaw umalis! Ang kulit!"

Wrong timing naman 'to! Agad akong napatingin kay Astria. Wala akong kinalaman don!

"Astria-" mabilis siyang tumalikod at naglakad palayo.

"Sabihin mo sa babaeng 'yon, wala akong panahon sa kaniya," mariin kong sabi kay Hayes bago sinundan si Astria palabas.

When she mentioned Eloise, I clenched my jaw. That wasn't what this was about. Wala naman akong pakialam sa babaeng 'yon at never ko magugustuhan 'yon.