4: Reaction

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by kllcarlxD

by kllcarlxD

Once I got to school in the morning, all hell broke loose. Jet was howling like a hyena.
At me.
So was the crowd that had gathered, all shouting "Caesar!". They wished to know why I'd sent that TikTok to Jet. What TikTok..?
Oh. The one I'd sent in my silent pathetic weeping on my bed, thinking of Elijah the whole time. Thinking of how I'd never be like Jet, liking girls and having girlfriends. Not being afraid to even begin to understand how you feel about men at all. He has it so easy. He doesn't have problems like I do. No one shouts his name at recess and chases him around, only to laugh at him for the way he runs.

I was snapped back to reality by Jet. "What was that weird TikTok you sent me for, Caesar?!" He said through tears of laughter. I stuttered a reply, "I-I don't even know." I said before we all went to class.

All I could think of that day was the teasing, but it quickly died down. I usually sat with Elijah at lunch. He was nowhere to be found.
I was instead trapped in my head, hopelessly thinking of everything that happened, Finally coming to terms with something I hadn't ever thought of.

I'm gay.

No matter where I go or who I love...it always comes back to that. I'm always attracted to guys, but I can't help but feel sorry for myself. Being gay is difficult for me because no one understands me. I'm too much trouble for most people. I just want a normal life. A straight life. One like Jets, or even-

Elijah. Always came back to him huh? Was he straight? I had no clue. He kissed me back but he ran. I needed to know.

I snuck away from lunch to head to the bathroom. I saw Elijah eating lunch alone in the cramped room. I tried my best to make noise when I entered the bathroom, and he quickly noticed me.
"What are you doing here? Come to claim that you're hetero?"
I swallowed nervously before replying.

"Well I uh...wanted to talk to you...alone"