13: Rowen III

10 0 0

by kllcarlxD

by kllcarlxD

Rowens POV

The dance was tonight, and I'd be going with my new girlfriend. Sort of.
She had plans with her friends, and we rarely talked at school. We mostly just stood near each other. I figured I could just hang with Tucker. Just hanging out, nothing more.

I arrived at the dance and met up with my girlfriend who quickly kissed me goodbye to see her friends. Tucker stood there alone. I walked to him and he smiled brightly, blue eyes almost piercing through me entirely. My heart fluttered and I smiled back. I was tempted to drag him away. Maybe I'd do just that.

"Hey Rowen! You look grea-" I grabbed his hand and we darted to the outside entrance away from everyone, behind the school. I saw Caesar again. Me and my friends had once made fun of him, but it now hurt to see how open and out he was being. Out. I wish I could just be out. Countless times had me and Tucker been making out at my house. It had been a month. It felt like I was playing with his feelings.

Slamming him into the brick wall, I tugged in his tie and we kissed. He was unsure this time, but kissed back. Pure lust, as always. I wish I could change that. I can change that. I felt so shitty for always doing this to him— these games. Hot tears streamed down my face as we kissed slower this time, more gentle. Confused, he pulled away.

"R-Rowen? Are you okay?" I gritted my teeth. "I'm fine" I made to kiss him again but he stopped me. "Come on talk to me! We never do. It's just this all the time. No communication!" He looked into my eyes and my heart sunk. I should tell him. I should admit that this isn't just kissing. "Tucker...I" I leaned again the wall.

"I think I'm gay Tucker. Gay. The very thing we've made fun of people for. For years." The tears hadn't subsided yet. "I'm afraid that it isn't just kissing and lust for me. It's-" Tucker held me in his arms. That was my undoing. "Love." I sobbed into his chest. "Love."

I felt his hands slowly move to my hair, stroking gently. "I'm terrified of being like this. Being gay." I admitted once more. He agreed. He'd felt the same way the whole time. "I'm sorry for just ignoring you. Ignoring this." he smiled. "Me too. We have to be honest with ourselves."

As we kissed again, more loving and less afraid, I began to understand Caesar a little more.