At Last, Him

Chapter 15: Better Left Unsaid

The bar in Bali was alive, filled with laughter and music that echoed around us. Even with my crutches resting by my side, I felt a rare lightness, a brief escape from the pressure of work and everything that had been weighing me down. Cam sat across from me, drink in hand, telling one of his ridiculous stories that never failed to make me laugh. It was like we were back in Bataan, hanging out after school and pretending that life wasn't as complicated as it really was.

I was so caught up in our conversation that I didn't even notice the glances from other people at the bar. Some women were eyeing Cam with open interest, while a few men kept looking my way, probably trying to decide if they should come over.

Ngumiti si Cam nang mapansin niya ang kanilang mga tingin. "Looks like we're popular tonight," sabi niya, sabay kindat sa akin.

"Ugh, wala ako sa mood para sa kanila," sagot ko, pinapikit ang mga mata at umiinom ng aking inumin.

"Don't worry, I've got you." Cam leaned in, draping an arm over my shoulder and speaking just loud enough for those around us to hear. "Babe, should we get more appetizers?"

Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti, nakikisali. "Sure, love. Just so you won't look at other girls."

The interest from the people around us quickly dissipated as they assumed we were a couple. Cam chuckled, and for a moment, it felt like old times—easy, light, familiar. Ngunit hindi nagtagal, nawala ang kanyang ngiti habang tahimik siyang nanonood sa akin, tila naghahanap ng higit pa sa aking tawa.

"So, Shan," he started, spinning his glass absently. "When are you going to put yourself out there again? Start dating, I mean."

I sighed, tracing the rim of my glass with my finger. "Hindi ko alam, Cam. Parang wala na akong oras. At sa totoo lang? Nakakapagod. Most of the time, guys just... they only want one thing. It's tiring."

Cam nodded, understanding written in the lines of his face. Humilig siya pabalik at huminga nang malalim. "Oo, gets ko. But you deserve more than just work and disappointment, you know."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, nakangisi. "Speaking of disappointments... Cam, virgin ka pa rin hanggang ngayon? Please, tell me I'm wrong."

Halos mabilaukan siya sa kanyang inumin, nakatingin sa akin na may malalaking mata. "Manahimik ka, Shan." He glanced around nervously, making sure no one overheard. "You're the only one who knows that, okay?"

I laughed, a sound that felt genuine and free, breaking through the cloud that had been following me for weeks. "What? I'm just saying! Maybe you should explore a bit, have some fun. That way, when you get married, you'll have no regrets, and you won't be tempted to cheat."

Cam's smile faded, and he looked at me with an intensity that caught me off guard. "Not everyone is like that, Shan. I'm waiting for the right person. Just because I'm not... wild now doesn't mean I'll cheat on my future wife."

I felt a pang in my chest as his eyes softened with regret, realizing what he'd just said. "Not everyone is like your father."

Ang hangin sa pagitan namin ay naging mabigat, ang mapaglarong usapan ay naging mas seryoso. Nawala ang aking ngiti, ang mga alaala ay parang bigat na bumabagsak sa akin. Nang makita ni Cam ang aking reaksyon, bumagsak ang kanyang mukha.

"Shan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," he said quickly, guilt written all over his face.

I shook my head, forcing a small smile, even though my heart felt tight. "Okay lang, Cam. Tama ka naman." I looked away, swallowing hard as I took a deep breath. "Maybe I am scared... scared that I'll end up with someone like him."