At Last, Him

Chapter 24: Not Quite Finished

I was sitting in front of my laptop, silently waiting as the page slowly loaded. With each second, it felt like the world was stopping—I could hear nothing but my own breathing and the pounding of my heart, which was racing faster and faster.

June 15, 2023 ngayong araw, at hinihintay ko 'yong resulta ng passers ng Licensure Examination for Architects.

"Please, sana pasado," I whispered, almost like a prayer.

And then, finally, the result appeared.

Pinagmasdan ko ang screen, hindi makapaniwala. Ilang segundo pa bago nagproseso sa utak ko 'yong resulta. "O-Oh my God! Architect na ako! Thank you po!" sigaw ko kahit mag-isa lang ako sa kuwarto. Ang tagal kong hinintay at pinangarap marinig ang salitang iyon, pero ngayon na nandito na, parang hindi ko alam paano tatanggapin. The tears came before I even realized it. Isang malalim na buntonghininga ang binitiwan ko, at hindi ko na napigilan. I smiled, laughing and crying at the same time, as the reality slowly sank in that this was true. I had passed the board exam on my first attempt, and I could finally call myself a licensed architect.

I was so happy, it felt so good that I wanted to shout out how I felt. I wanted to share this moment—this joy, this victory.

I searched for my phone, ready to call the first person that came to mind. My family, of course. I would call Mags first, then my parents, whom I knew would be incredibly proud. Sigurado akong masaya rin ang mga kaibigan ko para sa akin, kasi alam nilang lahat ang hirap na pinagdaanan ko. They were the ones who were with me during those sleepless nights, the late-night coffee runs, and their constant reminders that I could do this.

Pero habang hinahanap ko kung sino pa ang puwedeng tawagan, may naramdaman akong kakaibang lungkot. I realized that I didn't have a partner.

You know that moment when you suddenly stop, that realization that you don't have a special someone who could be the first to know? There's no one who would drop everything just to celebrate this with me, no one who would immediately suggest going out to toast my success, no one who would remind me how proud he was to me.

"Okay lang 'yan, Shan," bulong ko sa sarili. Sa dami ng sakripisyo ko, sapat na rin na nandito ang pamilya't mga kaibigan ko. But even so, there was still a slight sting. Because yes, I was proud of myself, but deep down, I also wanted someone to hold me, to share this success with me in a different way. Someone who would tell me it was all worth it because they had seen all my struggles.

I took a deep breath and smiled. "Someday," I said, almost like a promise to myself. There would come a time when I wouldn't have to search for this anymore because he would be there. Pero sa ngayon, moment ko 'to, at alam kong may mga taong nagmamahal sa 'kin at proud na proud para sa akin.

I stood up, took a deep breath, and made sure to remember every part of this moment. Despite everything, I was happy. Today, I was the one who succeeded—just me. And that was the most important thing.

"Architect Shannon Guiea V. Pertierra," nakangiting sabi ko sa sarili ko.

***

I barely slept the night before, my mind racing with thoughts of what the future would hold. And today, everything felt different. My dreams felt real.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng aking condo at nakita kong nandoon si Mommy at si Mags, parehong nakangiti. Ang kanilang presensya ay agad na nagpasigla at nagbigay liwanag sa lahat.

"Shan!" Sigaw ni Mags at saka ako niyakap nang mahigpit. "Architect ka na!" Napuno ng kasiyahan ang kanyang boses.

My mom stepped forward, beaming with pride. "I knew you could do it, anak," she said, her voice soft but strong with emotion. "You've worked so hard for this moment."