At Last, Him

Chapter 28: Taking A Leap

Ang opisina ay abala sa karaniwang galaw habang ang aking atensyon ay nakatuon sa tambak ng mga sketch at notes na nakakalat sa mesa ko. The preliminary designs for the private resort needed to be perfect. My pencil flew over the paper as I fine-tuned the angles of the villas and made last-minute adjustments to the pool's positioning. Paminsan-minsan akong tumingin pataas upang matiyak na parehong naiintindihan nina Troy at Jamie ang mga inilalatag kong detalye para sa renderings. Magiging mahaba ang araw na ito.

Sa gitna ng pagpapaliwanag ng isang partikular na layout, may isang galaw sa may pintuan na nakakuha ng aking pansin. Dumating si CL, hawak ang apat na malaking kahon ng S&R pizza. I instinctively met his gaze for a split second before looking away, pretending to be absorbed in my notes. I could feel his presence, the way he moved with an effortless calm that had always intrigued me, but today I kept my eyes down, avoiding him like he was just another visitor.

The sound of laughter and chatter filled the space as Jaron's voice rang out. "Hey everyone! CL brought pizza, tara kuha na kayo at kumain tayo!" Chairs scraped against the floor as the team surged forward, their excitement palpable. But I stayed where I was, keeping my head bent low and my pen moving, as if the urgency of my task could shield me from everything else.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas, at muntik na akong mapatalon nang mapansin kong may anino na bumagsak sa aking mesa. Tumingala ako at nakita si CL na nakatayo doon, may hawak na plato ng pizza at inumin. His eyes were searching, puzzled. He held out the plate, and I took it reluctantly, forcing a polite nod. "Thanks," I mumbled, returning to my papers with a pointed determination.

Hindi siya gumalaw. Sa halip, humila siya ng upuan sa tabi ko at umupo, nakatitig sa akin. "Shan, okay ka lang ba?" tanong niya nang mahinahon. "Did I do something to upset you? You've been... different."

Tumingala ako sa kanya, humigpit ang lalamunan ko. Ang kanyang ekspresyon ay bukas, tapat. Pinag-igting nito ang buhol sa aking dibdib, at wala akong ibang nais kundi ang kalasin ito, magkunwari na lahat ay maayos. But the memory of his phone call a week ago, the way he said I love you with that effortless ease, flashed through my mind.

I swallowed, trying to muster my voice. "No, CL, I'm fine. Busy lang talaga," I replied, my tone clipped, eyes darting back to the safe familiarity of my sketches.

He stayed silent for a moment, the air thick with unspoken questions. Finally, he leaned in a little, dropping his voice. "You know, if there's something bothering you, you can tell me."

The sincerity in his voice almost broke my resolve, but I forced myself to smile briefly, a practiced gesture that didn't reach my eyes. "I appreciate that, but really, I'm fine," I said, dismissively, before shifting my focus back to the plans spread out before me.

CL exhaled, a soft sigh that spoke volumes. After a moment, he stood up, but the weight of his concern lingered as he walked away. As I watched him retreat, a pang of guilt mingled with the familiar ache in my chest. I hated how easily I could shut him out, how much simpler it was to push people away than to risk the inevitable disappointment.

As CL exited the office, I felt a pulse of determination pushing me forward. I stood from my desk, the adrenaline mixing with a lingering embarrassment, and followed him outside. Ang malamig na hangin ay humaplos sa aking balat no'ng inabutan ko siya, pinigilan siya bago pa man siya makarating sa sarili niyang sasakyan.

"CL," sabi ko, bahagyang nanginginig ang boses ko. He turned, his brow furrowing with concern as he looked at me.

"Hey, Shan, what's going on?" he asked softly, his eyes scanning my face for answers.

Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga. "I need to apologize. For the way I've been acting... for being distant and cold," I admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I thought I was handling it, but it's obvious I wasn't."