Crown of Blood

Chapter 19.1.|| Fire and Ice

Fire burned in Cage's cupped hand. He watched it intently, sweat dripping down his forehead. It took all the concentration he was capable of, but after more than a full week of constant effort, he could finally call it at will.

At first, he burned on the inside, worse with every attempt. The magic didn't want to give him this. Only after he realized that he didn't want it either did he manage to push through the mental wall and allow the flames to flicker.

Despite everything, he didn't want to hurt Kat. Didn't want to step on Jinx's toes. Didn't want things to change. Oftentimes, as he tried to hone his magic, he found himself longing from the time his bones would break and he would turn into a murderous beast.

Surprisingly enough, he didn't ever want to return to a time before the curse, even if he'd been carefree then, enjoying his life and his status to the fullest. Adventures, affairs and great company all paled before the light that was Kat. And yet, his feelings for her remained muddled and broken, powerful enough to impair his use of magic.

The flame flickered one more time and died, taking every bit of energy he had left. With a heavy sigh, he let himself slouch in his seat and close his eyes.

The exhaustion settled over him like a heavy, wet blanket. Maybe now he'd actually be able to get some proper sleep. It was hard when visions of ice and fire haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. With every passing day in which he was forced to do nothing but plan, he resented Cecille more.

The air shifted, filled with an electrifying energy. His eyes still closed, Cage frowned. He knew what it meant. As if summoned by his disdain, the High Fairy had appeared.

"You look horrible," she said by way of greeting.

"Which is saying something." Even if he didn't want to, he opened his eyes.

Cecille was as stunning as ever with her dark hair flowing over her shoulder and her stormy-gray dress. There was a small crease between her eyes as she surveyed him.

"What have you been doing? Your magic is chaotic."

Cage raised his hand and forced the tiniest flame into it. "Your vision shows me fire and ice. It became fairly obvious that I needed to be the fire."

The High Fairy regarded him with what looked very much like suspicion. "You do know that those visions aren't always literal."

He didn't, but it didn't matter. "She's frozen our fields, summoned winter much sooner than natural. I need to combat it in some way."

"Yes, you need to defeat her, not melt her ice."

He disagreed. Melting her ice sounded like the best way to defeat her.

"I need my feelings back."

"Cage..." Cecille sighed as if she was the one exhausted from magic overuse. "You don't need your feelings back."

"Yes, I do. I feel hollow."

"So you'd rather feel crushed?"

"I can handle crushed." Hell, he'd been crushed before. Both physically and emotionally.

"Can you now? Have you ever been heartbroken before?"

He hadn't. It was his lack of heart that had caused Cecille to curse him in the first place.

"It's nothing like what you've suffered so far," the fairy continued. "Your body has suffered, I'll give you that. But you don't yet know the real meaning of pain."

"Oh, but I do." He stood and clasped his hands behind his back. "I lost my brother and blamed myself for it. I saw Kat slipping away from me and did nothing about it. I know all about failure and loss. I can still feel those things, you know."