Wildest Dreams - A Taylor Swift Adoption Fanfiction

Chapter 19: I'm Good

Author's note: Thank you, I got a few ideas for the story :) Might take longer to write because these were all pre-written and thought out for months in advance, so please be patient <3 

In the morning, things felt different. But not good different. I remember what I said last night. About loving Taylor. How it felt like the safest thing I've felt in years. And that's when they old thoughts started trickling back in.

What if this doesn't last? What if she abandons me? What if she just expects me to leave when I'm 18? I can't let myself get any more close, it'll only hurt me more when the inevitable happens.

So, I do what I do best. I grab my pre-packed backpack with all the essentials needed.

But instead of running, instead of taking the credit card and disappearing like every instinct in me screams to do, I find myself in the elevator. Going up.

The hallway has its light on which means Tree is in the office. Of course she is. That woman hasn't slept since 1989.

I take a deep breath outside of her door and before I can talk myself out of it I hear a "Come in" from the other side.

I burst through Tree's door, probably looking exactly as unhinged as I feel.

Tree doesn't even look up from her screens, but her voice cuts through my panic: "Sit."

I collapse into my designated crisis chair - since when do I have a designated crisis chair in Tree's office? - clutching my backpack like some kind of shield.

"Talk." I don't know how she's able to say that so kindly.

"I told her I loved her," I blurt out, the words tumbling over each other. "Last night, after the show. I actually fuckin said it and she said it back and it was perfect and terrifying and now I can't... I can't..."

"Breathe," Tree commands, finally setting down her phone. "Then talk."

"I was gonna run." My voice cracks. "I had my bag packed. I always have my bag packed because what if... what if it's too good? What if she realizes I'm too much? What if-"

"You're not running." she interrupts, stopping me in my tracks.

"I'm not?"

"No." She leans forward, eyes fierce. "You're sitting in my office having a crisis like a proper Swift family member. Like Taylor does when things go wrong."

A sound escapes me - maybe a laugh, maybe a sob. "I don't... I can't..."

"Can't what?"

"Can't handle how much I meant it." It comes out as barely a whisper. "When I said I loved her. I meant it so much it hurts."

"And that scares you."

"Everything about her scares me," I admit, picking at my backpack's strap. "How much she loves me. How much I love her back. How real it all is."

"So instead of talking to Taylor about these very normal feelings, you decided to terrorize me in the morning?"

"You're less... emotional about things." I don't even dare to look at her.

Tree smirks. "You came to me because I'm the practical one?"

"I came to you because you'll tell me if I'm being a fuckin dumbass."

"You're not being a dumbass." She studies me carefully. "You're being brave."

"Running isn't brave."

"You're not running though, are you?" She gestures at my presence in her office. "You're here. Talking. Processing. That's brave."