slytherin boys react - II

him writing about you after finding out you're marrying someone else

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theodore nott
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i shouldn't care. i keep telling myself that. i repeat it over and over, but it never sticks. it's like trying to convince my lungs to stop breathing. i don't know why i'm writing this. it's not like it'll change anything. but maybe if i write it down, it'll stop the noise in my head, quiet the ache that hasn't left since i found out.

she's getting married. to someone else. someone who isn't me.

how did it come to this? was i really that blind to think i'd have more time? or maybe i thought she'd always be there. i thought... i don't know what i thought. that it would be her and me in the end, somehow.

i wonder if she'll think of me on her wedding day. i wonder if she'll feel even the slightest hesitation or remember all the things we never got the chance to be. and maybe, if there's any kindness from the gods in the world, she'll miss me the way i'll spend the rest of my life missing her.

but no. she deserves to be happy. i just wish it could have been with me.

if there's any love left in this world for me, maybe it will let me forget. but i can't forget. i never will. i love her. and i'll take that love to my grave if it's the last thing i do.

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mattheo riddle
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i can't even put it into words. my head is spinning, and i don't know how to make sense of this. i thought, hell, i always thought she'd be mine. but now? she's marrying someone else.

is she happy? was she happy with me? is she happier with him now? if that's the case, then maybe i don't want her to be happy. maybe i want her to be miserable. miserable with me. i don't care if it sounds selfish or bitter, but i can't help it. i fucking hate him. whoever he is. i hate him. i hate that he'll get to wake up to her beautiful face every morning while i'm here, alone. he'll get to kiss her, hold her, be the one who gets to do everything i should have.

i always thought she'd come back to me. i thought i could fix whatever was broken, that it'd be us in the end. but now? now i'm just a memory. she's made her choice, and it's not me.

but i just can't let her go. i don't care if it's selfish. i don't care if i'm pathetic. i can't just let her walk away and live a life without me in it. she means too much. she always has.

he'll take everything that was mine. i hate him for that. i hate him for taking what should be mine. and i hate myself for not being enough.

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draco malfoy
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i found out today. i don't know if there's a right word for what i'm feeling, "hurt" doesn't touch it, "anger" falls short. i knew it might happen someday, knew it was probably inevitable, even. but knowing doesn't make this ache any softer. you're marrying someone else, and i'm left here, holding memories like they're anything close to enough.

i should be happy for you. you deserve every bit of joy, and i'd like to believe you've found it with him. but, selfishly, i wish it was me. i wish i could be the one who makes you feel safe, who gets to hear you laugh first thing in the morning, who knows every little change in your expression. instead, i'm on the outside, holding onto scraps, and it's torture.

i've spent so long convincing myself that i could let go if it ever came to this, that i could be fine. but i'm not fine. i don't think i will be.

all i have now are my regrets. all the things i could have said, should have said. all the times i should have just told you what you meant to me, instead of hiding behind silence and pride. if i had, would things be different now?