This chapter will be based off of Gerards recovery and Mikey sort of breaking away from Andy. I love you guy's, please be safe while reading...
Gerards POV
I sighed at the sketchbook in front of me, they said I should try to work on my art as much as I could, to keep me distracted and happy.
They didn't understand, I created from my mind, and my mind was happy. If they looked at these pictures I've drawn since I've been here they would think I needed a permanent stay.
There's a nurse here named Stella who is generally interested in my artwork though. She doesn't look at me strange for what's on the page, she respects me for it and compliments it.
Stella brought me my medication and kept me updated on my stay. I'd only been here for three days but I was falling into their routines for my recovery.
I'd be woken up at six am to take my medication and eat, however I never really had an appetite so I avoided it mostly. Stella said the pills would do that to people so she wasn't worried about me being anorexic or depressed.
I'd sit in here drawing or reading until about nine when my therapist would come in and ask me questions and examine my artwork.
When she left I'd normally take a shower or continue reading or drawing.
At one Stella would come back with another round of medications, which they'd slowly ease me to normal doses on over the weeks.
Then they'd check me for self harm marks at three.
I'd have to go down to the main corridor with other patients to socialize however I normally just sat alone and watched the others.
Then I'd go back upstairs and occupy myself until lights out where I'd fall asleep to thoughts of Mikey.
I wanted to go home of course, but I knew I was not in the shape for that right now.
Currently I'm waiting for my therapist. Her name is Alex. She's really nice, she's a married lesbian with an adopted kid, she has to ask me some deep questions and sometimes she and I would argue but in the end I respected her.
There was a knock and then the door clicked open, she smiled as she walked in and took a seat next to me. "Working on your art?" She asked arranging some papers on her clipboard.
"Yeah. Can't really think of anything to draw right now so I was just kind of waiting on ideas." She nodded and relaxed in her chair.
"Okay let's go through this and then I'll check your sketches and look for any marks and I'll be out of your hair." I nodded and sat my pencil down.
Any suicidal thoughts?
No.
Are you feeling like your depression has gotten worse since you got here?
No, but I don't think it's getting any better.
Do you wish you could leave?
Of course, I miss my family but I understand why I'm here.
Do you wish that you would've died? That the man wouldn't have saved you?
I'm very happy that he saved me. I need to be here for my little brother.
Do you think you can tell me about your little brothers eating disorder from last year?
He... well... I just don't see what's so confusing about it. I mean.. he didn't eat?
Does he ever talk to you about it?
We've discussed.
Don't shut down on me Gerard. Does Mikeys past ever make you want to harm yourself?
It's sad.. and it worries me and I wish I could have helped him but... yeah.. it does.
Have you ever harmed yourself because of it?
Yes.
Can you show me those scars?
I swallowed nervously and pulled back the sleeve of my flannel and looked for the set of scars, they were well defined because I cut she shape of a heart into my upper wrist. I pointed at it and it sort of stung under my skin, to show someone like this. She nodded and wrote something down before standing up and setting her clipboard down. "Sketchbook please, anything new?"
I shook my head, "Nope. Same things. I touched up the outlines of the first one in there." She nodded and flipped the sketchpad open. "Okay.. your drawings are still pretty dark, why not try to brighten them up a little?" I smiled politely, "I draw what I feel and that's the way it's always been. I will never lie in my artwork."
She smiled and closed the sketchbook carefully placing it back on the desk.
"Shirt off, Pants rolled up, wrists extended towards me, and chin up." She examined me, which I wasn't nervous about. Sure, I had scars but nothing fresh so she really couldn't say much.
Mikeys POV
I woke up with a stinging pain on my cheek and Andy staring at me terrified. "Did you just slap me?"
I was aware that I just had a nightmare, and I wasn't mad that he hit me, I was simply curious as to why my face stung so badly.
"Yeah, sorry baby." He said kissing my cheek softly where it was burning and I blushed. "Its okay." I said thankful that we were in the dark and he couldn't see the redness of the mark and try to shower me in ice packs and pity.
"What was your dream about?" He asked wrapping his arms around me tightly after pulling the blanket fully over us.
"That's a discussion for some other time yeah?" He just cuddled me closer and intertwined our fingers. "I love you. I understand if you don't say it back. I know you're leaving when Gerards out, but for now I'm gonna pretend you aren't."
I nodded and relaxed into him, "I love you anyway Andy."
