The bet

11: sleepover 2

we're already on out 3th romance movie and i'm bored out of my mind, i'm not even really paying attention to the movies. i'm mostly thinking about everything that's happened in the past 24- hours, and it's a lot, to much to just process this fast. 

i'm not even sure what i'm supposed to be feeling right now.. everythings so fucking complicated and i'm so so fucking stupid for making that bet with kai because rosé's an amazing girl i might not have realized that because i was only willing to see the worst part of her, the only bad person here is me. 

my parents- my mom she's constatly drunk fucking different man yelling at me breaking thing making stupid promises she won't even keep her fucking word and dad.. there's nothing wrong with him because he's the best dad i could ever wish for but i miss him so much, he's been in the military for the past 3,5 years now he's on training, war and when he could go home they had to go to another part of the city because it got worse. 

i'm such a fuck up. 

i then felt a sudden vibration in my pocket making me snap out of my thoughts, i dimmed the light of my screen and checked the message.

Mom- I hate you, i hate you so much if it wasn't for you then your father would've been here but he's not and it's all your fucking fault i wish you were dead

i read the text feeling my chest tighten as i read it, it felt like i couldn't breath so i stood up and walked out of the living room towards the back yard, as soon as i got there i took a deep unsteady breath. i was looking down at my phone, with trembling hands i typed out a response and send it to my mom. 

''jisoo?'' i quickly turned around to see rosé standing there ''it's freezing'' she had her hands in her pockets as she blew out air with every shaky breath she took from the cold

''i know'' i uttered 

it fell quiet for a minute and before rose could utter more words i felt my phone vibrate again, i was scared to look but i did anyways

Mom- JUST FUJKING DIE SLUTY

i noticed the spelling mistakes, she's probably drunk... again. i swallowed thickly trying to take a deep breath but it felt like i wasn't taking in any air

''are you okay?'' i was not gonna break down infront of rosé.. i haven't had a break down since... i was 6 i then had a break down because my mom had hurt me badly. 

''yes. i'm fine'' 

''okay... well do you wanna go back inside?'' 

''you can go inside'' i said looking at the door, she frowned and shook her head

''no'' she took an unsure step forward ''look jisoo, i know your lying but i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's wrong but don't send me away because your feeling bad'' i scoffed

''you don't know a thing'' rosé crossed her arms 

''well maybe that's because you shove everyone away when something hits you'' i clench my jaw and feel my blood boil and that with the sadness i felt just now didn't go well together 

''you don't know a fucking thing rosé! nothing!'' she rolled her eyes taking a threatening step closer

''then tell me or are you gonna push me away too'' i clenched my jaw tighter her words getting to me

''just leave!'' she laughed

''i guess i was right hmm'' she licked her bottom lip and shook her head like she was dissapointed and that hurt 10 times more then her words, i can remember my mom doing the same when i was younger 

''if you two are gonna rip each others hair out at then at least don't be so loud'' i turned my head to find lisa standing in the door opening, she eyed me to go inside so i simply did. 

i went back into the living room and saw jennie sitting looking at her phone ''oh hey'' jennie said giving me a small smile, i looked at her and she was slightly blushing and i noticed the slight smudge under her lips

''if your gonna kiss lisa and keep it a secret at least fix your make up'' i said teasingly, jennie's eyes widened and she checked her lips in the camera of her phone and quickly wiped her lips ''so.. are you two together?'' i asked leaning on the couch 

''no...'' 

''what? why?'' 

''i don't know i guess she just doesn't want to'' i face palm myself and was about to say something else when lisa and rosé entered the room 

''honestly you should just be honest with her'' i said as jennie was currently debating weather she should tell lisa how she feels 

''i can't do that'' 

''you can i believe in you'' she shakes her head, we were sitting in a music room and it's been so long since i've played.. well i just can't play, while jennie was thinking i got up and walked around and stopped by a piano and trailed my fingers along the keys.

i just pressed some random keys then placed both hands on the piano and played a melody i made myself years ago. 

''wow you play piano?'' i snap my head up and awkwardly walk back to a chair

''just tell lisa-'' 

''why are you ignoring my question'' 

''lisa-'' 

''no not lisa my question'' 

''but lisa's'' 

''oh my god jisoo!'' she groaned out of annoyence ''i'm not gonna tell lisa i like her-'' 

''lisa's behind you'' i looked up to see lisa smirking as jennie slowly turned around 

''oh... lisa'' i saw rosé standing besides lisa looking a little lost, i stood up and handed jennie her bag 

''here now you and you go away and talk'' jennie stood up but didn't move so i pushed her towards lisa and they eventually walked away and i assumed rosé did too, my back was turned to the door as i kneeled down and opened my bag but it wasn't opening the zipper was probably stuck on that stupid jacket i pulled on it when it suddenly went opening and it went over a little piece of my finger

''fuck!" i looked at my finger which was bleeding now, i take a bandage from my bag and wrap it around my finger ''stupid bag'' i utter

''your just gonna blame your bag for being stupid?'' i heard making me turn around, and there was rosé with a stupid grin plastered on her face

fuck me.