I am Sabrina

Thanks Sasha

Sasha can I tell you something Annie looked at me and asked "you're going to tell her?" I nodded. Annie grabbed her bad and left down stairs to meet the group for breakfast. "is it that you like Jean because we all know" we sat down on a bed "It's something like that. Look you are really close to Jean how does he feel about me?" she grew serious "he really likes you I think he might even ask you out soon Sabrina are you okay?" fuck now I'm getting emotional. I began to cry a little "you have to tell him not to like me anymore. I don't know why I've been leading him on, I'm so sorry" she pulled me into a hug as I continued "m-my real name is Eren and I was born a boy." I finally said it I felt her tense up "I've always seen myself aa a girl, dressing like one isn't enough I just got surgery and it was breast implants I just don't want Jean to find out then end up hating me." to my surprise Sasha held me tighter "Maybe you should just tell him I'm sure he would mind but I can't be certain of it. but I don't look at you any different Sabrina, in my eyes you still are that incredibly beautiful smart funny bad ass you were before you told me." I stopped crying "thank you Sasha"

I didn't feel like talking to anyone but Sasha until I got home. When we went down stairs to eat I sat down by Sasha everyone asked us why we were late but neither one of us answered. "Sabrina..." Jean tried to talk to me but I started to cry again. I didn't want to look at Jean anymore I didn't want to do this to him. I don't know why I thought relationships would be easy. The ride home was awkward I sat in the back again but I sat with Sasha. In the middle of the ride I started crying again why is this affecting me so much! Is it because I finally realized that I will never be normal or that I'm hiding behind my clothes? I think it's because I'm realizing that what brings me happiness can only bring trouble for others.

I wanted to scream. I am making things so awkward. The only sound is my sniffling. My phone vibrated 'your daddy John' "Are you okay?" I decided to text him back "I don't think we should talk anymore." More warm tears slipped out of my eyes. I looked over at Jean who had earphones in and his head was against the window. I stopped crying and listened to music the rest of the way. Once we got back to the school Jean was the first to get up and leave without a word. I did the same.

For the next week Jean and I haven't talked. I told Annie to continue to hang out with the others and not to worry about me. I stayed with some other friends Crista and Ymir. Friday again but this time Mikasa's parents were away so Levi and Mikasa had the house to themselves. The word spread pretty fast this party was going to be huge.