The Best Friend Pact || Jungwon || 18+

18. Normals and Cars

In the weeks after spring break I go over my feelings several times. There is no mistake, I am falling in love with Jungwon. And considering he made it clear that he doesn't want to go down that road with me, I need to do something to stop myself. I don't want to be one of those girls that is secretly in love with their best friend.

"Jungwon," I said as we sat down to eat on a Wednesday night. "I think we should talk."

"Okay." He looked up from his food, his eyebrows furrowed with concern. "Are you okay?"

"I am fine. It's just..." I sighed. How am I supposed to say this? "I think we should start dating."

"What?"

"Not each other, sorry." I said quickly, a little hurt by the shock on his face. "I mean other people."

"I don't understand. Did I do something?" He placed his chopsticks down, moving over a few chairs to sit beside me.

"You didn't, but wasn't that the plan anyway? We were only going to do this until we found someone to get serious with."

"You want to get serious with someone? Who?"

"I don't have anyone in mind." I shook my head. "Do you not find our situation weird?"

"No." He grabbed my hand. "So what if it is? It works for us, doesn't it?"

"It does." I nodded. "But Jungwon, we can't do this forever."

"Is there something I am lacking? Something you want to try? You know I will."

"No, no." I stood up, needing to move away from him.

"Is this about that guy over spring break?" He stood up, taking a couple of steps toward me. "Are you in contact with him?"

"No." I shook my head. "This is about getting back on track, Won."

"Our track is fine, though. We are happy the way things are."

"But we aren't moving forward. If things stay like this we won't find who we are going to marry." I explained. "I don't know about you, but I want to get married."

"You are too young to be thinking about marriage."

"Right, but if I don't get the chance to meet anyone, I might not ever get to." I felt tears pricking my eyes. I have to stay strong. "I can't spend the time I should be looking for something real while screwing my best friend."

"I..." He stood there for a moment before turning away, running a hand through his hair. "If that's what you want..."

"It is."

"So what? We stop? That didn't work well before."

"But if we find other people..." It hurt to even say. I can't take seeing Jungwon with someone else. But better now than before I am completely in love. That would be impossible.

"Sure. Whatever." Jungwon doesn't turn around to look at me, but heads for the door, putting on his shoes.

"Where are you going? We aren't done eating."

"I need some air."

When Jungwon returned late that night he slept in his own room. Something he hasn't done since we made the new pact. I know I did what was best for my heart, but the pain of sleeping alone is unbearable.

"Nari," He said, stopping me at the door the next morning on my way out to class.

"What?"

"I am sorry about how I reacted last night. It was unfair." He looked to the ground. "It is selfish of me to keep you to myself. I will try my best to find someone to date, too."