I Heart You Brother!!! <3

26- If you dont know

-carrie/azalea-

Today is 3rd of January and it's been 3 days since the last time Luke and I talked. Since that day he never showed up. If Michael and Ash will come over, he'll give reasons why he can't come. He's relationship with Calum stays the same but less affection. They didn't hang out together even if they're the bestmate. I feel guilty about it. It's my fault.

"Carrie!" Someone called me back and I know it's Calum.

"Cal..." I whispered. I'm too tired. I feel like I was sick and going to die.

"He told me about it." He said with a straight face. "He told me that the reason why you turned him down is me."

My eyes widen at what he said. I don't knoe what I should say. If I told him that I love him does it change everything? It'll worsen.

"Tell me! Is it because of me? Do you love me?" This time his voice was high that I can't barely know if he's mad or what.

He hold my shoulders and look at me. Once again, he repeated the question. "Do you love me?"

I took my time to think before I answer him. From the start, I know Luke is the one I like. But as days goes by, I didn't know that I'm falling for Calum. I don't want to make a mistake. I lose Luke and that bring so much pain to me. And if I answer Calum, two things may happen. One, I might lose him. Second, if I said that I like him, what if he's not the one I really like? What if it's Luke?

I don't know what I feel. I don't know if it's Luke or Calum. I need more time to think but he's begging for the answer.

"I... I dont know, Calum." I said as a tear came down from my left eye. I look away avoiding his gaze. He sighed in disappointment.

Im sorry.

"You can't choose, can you?" He asked. His voice was breaking. He took a step back. "Come to the show, at least." And he walks away.

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I heard the roar from the crowd. Screaming of the fans. They all happy but not me. This is the first time I'll watch a concert. The first time I'll watch them perform live. I'm suppose to be happy.

"Our sit is over there." Candice pointed to the second row of the vip area. It consist of different local artist. Some were rich fans whilst others are a family friend of them.

I also saw Lizzie waving at us. "I think, I'll better stay here." I said pointing to where we are. It was an area near the vip row but cannot be seen by the people at the stage. I don't want them to see me.

"Oh come on! I know you really want to watch them. They want to see you watching them." She said slightly pulling me.

"No..no.. wait! I can watch here, really."

She sighed and look intensely in my eyes. Guilt was tripping on me. "This is the first time, I'll watch a concert with my sis. And maybe, I can never be. After this, I know you'll be coming back to the Philippines. Don't turn me down." She plead. Yeah, I told her that I changed my decision to stay a little bit longer. I dont want about my  staying. I just want to go back where I came from.

I choose to be Azalea Marquez because being Carrie Hood is too complicated. Especially now that my friendship with Luke is over. I know, they wont stay for so long but knowing that Calum is my brother suffocates me.

"Fine. Fine."

We sat down at the sit reserved for us waiting for the show to start. A few minutes later, the whole stage light up and the boys appeared. Luke, Calum, Ash, Michael and some other guy.

"Oh my fudge! Is that Will?!" Candice screamed same as the fans in concert hall.

"Will who? Will Smith?" I asked not intended to crack a joke. But duh, I know what Will Smith look like.

Candice rolled her eyes. "Will Chance. He's a singer here. He's my bae!" She said fangirling like the others.

Never thought that a sister of a famous star could experience fangirling too.

"Heya!" Michael greeted that made the fans scream like an insane psycho. "So we have an intruder..." he kid that made everyone laughs.

"Dont be to harsh, mate." Ash spoke up. "I guess everyone knew him right?" Another scream from the crowd saying "yeahhhh"

"I dont know him." I murmured.

"Hi everyone, tonight I'll be singing with this idiots. Hahahaha.... " he said then everyone laugh again.

"I'm not but they." Finally Luke spoke up as if everything is alright.

"Whatever... by the way what is the song we'll be singing? " Will asked to the lads and Calum spoke, 'Birthday song'.

"Yeah... or maybe something different. Pizza song I guess." Michael crack a joke again.

"Kidding aside. The song we'll be singing is If you don't know . A pretty good song about a girl who can't decide...  see the title? It's obvious." Luke said. Why that song? "This song is for..... you." He said again emphasizing the word 'you'. Is it just me who feel that it was for me?

"This is for the girl who can't decide." Calum added.

Fuck it's for me.

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