Always

1. Cant take it anymore.

Katniss POV. 

After A year and a half later. I'm home. Can I even call this place home. Can I even call district 12 my home, after it has been bombed and with dead bodies filled everywhere in the fields and woods. In the city with all the destroyed houses and markets.

It's quiet. Not a single soul in sight. When arriving to district 12 I wanted to feel peace. I don't feel anything besides guilt. Pain. Heartbreak. I walked to victor's village. This where I live now, after the hunger games the capital granted me this apartment for myself and prim and my mother. Oh prim. I miss you so much. Life isn't fair. My mother stayed in the capital to peruse her dreams with becoming a doctor. I don't blame her. My mother and I relationship fell after my dad died. Prim saved us, but after prim died it was all gone again. We said goodbye and promised to send letters to each other every couple of months. 

I reach my door, and I couldn't even turn the nob. I turned around and looked at haymitch. He came home with me, because he also lives in this village. 

I frown as I look at haymitch. He really became a father figure to me over the last year and a half. He was there through it all. He was there for my nightmares, my cries. My fight with the rebellion and when I lost... him. 

My sweet, loving, caring Peeta. I miss him more than words can express.  last time I saw him was when I shot my arrow at coin and I tried to take a night pill and he ran over to me and grab it from me and looked at me with pain, heat break and shock. I was pulled away from him by guards and I watched him fade away into the crowd of people trying to kill snow. 

I want my Peeta back. After that, I have no idea what happened to him. I don't know if he ever came home. I don't know if he's dead or alive. If he found someone at the capital and decided to stay. 

All I know is I want him home. I want him with me. I want to always ask him to stay with me and hear him whisper into my ear, always.  

Everyone tells me I don't deserve his love or him at all. They all said our relationship was fake. That I was using him to survive. After the quarter quell, actually no. Before the quarter quell i started to fall for him, but I didn't want to show anyone so they could use him as a weakness because I would break down if anything happened to him. 

When he was captured by the capital, and he was getting tortured I cried every night. I screamed and had multiple nightmares. Begging for him to come home. It should have been me instead. 

I began to feel tears forming. Haymitch walks up to me and hugs me. I start to cry into his shoulder. 

"Katniss, everything will be okay. I'm two houses down. I'm here."

I pull out of the hug and Hyamitch wipes my tears.

"Where is he haymitch.?"

Haymitch sigh. "I don't know sweetheart."

I nodded and finally grew the courage to walk inside the apartment. I felt a shiver down my spine and closed the door behind me. I turned around and looked out the window and saw haymitch walking to his apartment. I went inside and started walking around. I went upstairs into my room and looked around. 

Pictures of me and prim. Gale and me. I frowned. I walked over to the photos and grabbed them. I felt the tears come back and I threw them across the room. I screamed and fell to the ground. 

I have nobody anymore. Gale is gone, he stayed in the capital as a guard. I told him goodbye before I left. I want nothing to do with him. He killed prim. He says he's sorry, but he still killed her. 

I curl into a ball and the only person that comes to my mind is Peeta. Oh, Peeta. Please come back to me. I cry and cry. I'm all alone. I can't do this anymore. 

Haymitch POV

I watch Katniss Walk into the house. I stare at the door for a minute and start walking over to my house. I get inside and instantly went the couch. I sit down with my head in my hands. 

Why does she have to go through alone. I can only do so much for her. I grab my phone out of my pocket and call effie. 

The phone rings three times and she finally pick up.

"Hello."

I smile. "Hello Effie."

I hear her giggle through the phone. "Why hello sir, its only been four hours."

I laugh. "Thats the problem."

"what's wrong haymitch?"

I sigh, "I need the update on Peeta."

Effie sighs. "He is a mess haymitch. He's here being treated, he wants to come home to Katniss, but he's scared, he doesn't want to hurt her. He loves her and he would break if he hurt her. He wants to stay here till his medication is done."

"When is that over."

"He has three days left. He only talks about Katniss nowadays. How he loves her, he keeps asking me if shes real, if her love is real."

"It's real Effie. The last thing she said to me before she went inside was asking where he was. All she wants is him, I can see it."

Effie sighs. "I'm about to go see him now, I will call you later Haymitch."

"Okay, don't be a stranger."

She giggles and hangs up. 

I throw my phone down and grab my liquor bottle and began to chug until the very last drop. 

I hope you guys enjoyed the very first chapter of my new book. I was going to write Peetas pov but that will be next chapter. Thank you all, xoxoxoxoxo green :)