Heroin(e) -tripleS-

Chilchilz XII

Nakyoung's POV...

Present...

Our exam ended an hour ago. We're planning on having dinner party together again as we're finally free from the burden of studying and answering the unexpected questions of the exam sheet. But, it's not what it is for me. Nothing seems right and i didn't even answer the exam properly. As well, as the study before the exam.

After that day, i stuffed my mind with everything i did with Yooyeon unnie and everything i liked about her only and not my study. As the exam reached, I went through it as impulsively as i could. I didn't even want to talk to my friends at the time but they were always trying to talk to me first and the first thing they said was, 'you're getting skinnier'.

I admit that i didn't eat for about three days but not in a row. I just eat when i feel like it. Go to school when i feel like it since it was study week so it's not compulsory to always attend. I didn't even inform my friends when i didn't want to come to school.

I know i wasn't supposed to be like that, that day. Be depressed was not in my list of this year but broke up neither. Since the break up happened, then the depression happened too. I know Yooyeon unnie wouldn't like that but it was what happened.

That day, i just felt empty and didn't want to move an inch if i could. But, my daily life was just forcing me to not stay still. I did everything half-heartedly because i feel like everything of this could end eventually but it just takes too long to end. I'm getting sick of it.

I know i could see Yooyeon unnie as a friend again but the fact that i'm single now just hit differently. When, i used to have her as my comfort place, now everything felt awkward to be around her. I didn't even know how she coped with it but i know she's professional in everything in this world. But, what about me. It's so unfair. As if i'm the only one swaying around on a boat that is swallowed by every wave coming in.

As time went by, my friends were surprisingly approachable and as the exam was getting to its end i eventually felt comfortable again. No, maybe i just got used to it now. Forgetting Yooyeon unnie as my 'lover' and living my life normally as before. Now i can easily act like Yooyeon unnie is just my friend. No uninvited awkwardness anymore. Perhaps. At least, that's what i wanted it to happen.

And as my friends expected, they know that i was in a mere depression maybe because i'm too moody unlike always. Thank goodness they never asked why and even if they did, i'll probably just stare into them then shake my face away and give a fake giggle that does not represent my emotion that time at all then get away from them and never return. However, i just hated how quick-witted they are. Or maybe i hate that i'm too transparent to be read by them. But, they were still supporting me and cheered me up although i realized i was always giving them nonchalant replies.

But up until now, there's been nothing worse in this world other than the relationship between me and Lynn. I haven't talked to her since that day. Even if we were hanging out, she would never talk or look at me. Even after our friends were making jokes about us, she was just denying and laughing it off before continue her business.

I haven't tried to talk to her first but she never tried too. It just felt so unnatural that i rarely talk to her now since we never had a day without talking with each other before. Before i got depressed because of breaking up. I didn't know the reason why she did this. Why would she be the one who is affected when i'm the one who broke up?

Watching her eyes never try to look at me kinda pisses me off. I felt like i was the most hurtful person since i just broke up and i need comfort but this person who gave everyone clues that she liked me until even Yooyeon unnie noticed it, is always looking away.

Even now, we're eating dinner together and she's sitting right in front of me but she never looks at me. She's talking only if someone asked her something then she would stare into her bowl of meal again and just refused to look in front. To look at me. She got me speechless. How can i talk to her when she's like this, staring out the window like i'm not her favourite town.

Until suddenly...

"Yah! Kim Nakyoung!! Hehehheh...~ Let me pour you a drink".

"HUHH?!", i scream the startledness in silence until only my breath could be heard but i swear my heart just skipped a beat. This drunk friend for real got me startled to death. I have a fragile heart you know. Please be nice ㅠㅠ

"Hahahahhhh yaahhh...~ You got this scaredy cat startled for real".

"Aigoo.... She's drunk now, she's drunk...".

Minjung (one of our friends) is drunk and she just wanted to offer me a drink with high notes. Surprisingly, i haven't drank any glass yet. So it doesn't hurt to drink a glass, right?

Then, I shoved my glass at her to pour a drink but suddenly..... Lynn pushes my glass away and replaces it with her glass. The beer poured in her glass instead and she drank it all.

"Mwoyaaa...~ Lynn finally drinks... What a grown up".

"She's finally become an old man but it's already too late".

"What do you mean 'too late'? She got a billion years more to live".

"Hahhahahahah what?!! Billion years?!".

Everyone is getting chaotic because of Lynn's action just now but it just got me stunned. I'm staring into my empty glass then staring at the drip of beer in Lynn's glass that was supposed to be in my glass.

The memory of her asking me to get drunk in front of her only flashes through my brain. Maybe, that's why she did that. To not let me get drunk. But, it just got me confused again on why she's acting like she cares about me when she doesn't actually look like it. What is this girl on about actually? Is she suddenly wanted to act tsundere now?

She might probably have thought that i didn't care about the request she made when she asked me to get drunk only in front of her since i was replying with something else back then. But it's actually played in my mind on repeat since that day. I might be clueless then, but now i'm fully conscious of why she asked me to do that.

However, no matter how hard i try to deny her caring actions towards me, it just pulls me to notice it even more easily now. It made me wonder if she already acted like this since before but i didn't notice it since i was too blinded by Yooyeon unnie.

Until suddenly, i remembered something. Actually, this is not the first time Lynn's drinking. The first time is when she was drinking with me only and a one-shot glass of wine has already got her sleepy but just now it's a big mug of beer. Then, i quickly look at her.

And yes, she's sleeping on her arms that is already on the table. A jelly candy is still on her mouth but her teeth are munching it lazily while her brain is shutting off. Just by looking at her upper head from my view now is already so cute. Has she been this cute before?

I put both of my elbows on the table and put my chin on my palms to gracefully stare at her sleeping. Hmm... I think i would cherish this view for a long time. I found myself smiling widely for the first time after that broke up.

End of POV...

To be continued...