In Shadow of Becoming, a teenager stands at the crossroads of adolescence and adulthood, caught in a whirlwind of doubt and discovery. As they grapple with the complexities of growing up, they question everything they once believed-faith, self-worth...
I seek control of everything wrong in my life, Grasping at strings to silence the strife. But no matter how I try, how hard I fight, The chaos consumes me, snuffing out the light.
I put all my effort into tidying the mess, Yet it swells and grows, refusing to regress. Every thought, every action, feels futile and weak, A reflection of failure, a peak I can't seek.
The weight of the world pushes me down, Eyes turn dark as I begin to drown. Out of breath, the silence invades, A haunting stillness, where hope quickly fades.
Endless darkness spreads from my heart, The point of origin, tearing me apart. This life, a void where nothing takes form, No shelter from the everlasting storm.
I seek control, for I've none in my grasp, My pain a relentless, suffocating clasp. In a world where hurt is the only refrain, There's no room for joy, just endless pain.
I try to command my thoughts, to reign them in, But they spiral wildly, unbound within. They whisper doubts, sowing seeds of despair, Turning dreams to ash, leaving nothing to repair.
Control slips like sand through my hand, Leaving chaos, a wasteland I can't understand. I yearn for order, for a life redefined, But I'm lost in the labyrinth of my mind.
Each attempt to rise feels heavier than the last, Each failure a haunting echo of the past. I can't fix what's broken, can't heal the scars, Just a soul adrift, counting distant stars.
I've sought solace in routine, in endless tasks, But they only conceal the questions I mask. Why can't I steer my ship to calmer seas? Why do my efforts never bring peace?
The answer eludes me, slipping through cracks, Like sunlight fading, leaving only blacks. I scream for help in the depths of my mind, But the echoes return, cruelly unkind.
Control feels like a phantom, a cruel jest, Dangling just out of reach, denying me rest. It mocks my efforts, taunting my plight, Leaving me trapped in an eternal fight.
There are moments I wonder if it's worth the pain, To wrestle a life that yields no gain. Is it better to surrender, to let it all be? Or keep struggling, despite no guarantee?
Yet even in my darkest hours, a whisper remains, A small, stubborn flicker amidst the chains. Though fleeting, it reminds me there's more to seek, Even when control feels impossibly weak.
But the darkness persists, always in view, And I'm left unsure of what to do. Control is elusive, a goal never whole, And I wonder if I'll ever reclaim my soul.
So here I stand, teetering on the edge, Between despair and a tenuous pledge. To try once more, or to let it all go, Is the only decision I've come to know.
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