Burning Love ~ Billy Hargrove ( +18)

Chapter 30

Maddie's POV

I was still somewhat surprised by Billy's reaction. The fact that he let me leave the bathroom without looking at me, without complaining, and without saying the last word after that argument was... It was really strange and left me with an odd feeling in my body.

As I walked toward the exit of the bowling alley to get to Steve's car, my mind kept racing. Normally, the times I had rejected him, he'd almost flown into a rage. And now, all of a sudden, it seemed like, for the first time in his life, he had given up and didn't want to argue with me.

I refused to think about it, but... what if he really regretted sleeping with me and didn't want to do that to Sandra? What if, deep down, he wasn't as bad as he had always tried to show?

After all, I'm also starting to realize that my cruelty, for the most part, is just a shell to protect me from the pain others might cause me.
I'd already had enough with Neil and Billy throughout my life. Of course, when I think about it coldly, Billy could be just as cruel or mean as I am because of his mother's abandonment and his father's beatings.

What if, in reality, Billy and I were more alike than I was willing to admit? What if the hatred we feel isn't really for each other but for Neil? And since we can't do anything against Neil, we've channeled all that rage into hating each other.
And what if...
What if Neil hadn't been in the picture? Maybe... Maybe we would have gotten along. Maybe we could have been good siblings. Maybe...
Maybe we could have loved each other.

Just like I've felt I loved him every time he's smiled at me these past few weeks. Every time he's shared a knowing look with me. Every time he's tried to defend me. Every time he's worried about me.
Thinking about each of those moments made my stomach tie itself into knots.

And if... What if I didn't really hate him but actually cared for him? What if... I was actually falling in love with him?

"I was starting to think you'd fallen into the toilet," Steve said as I realized I'd already reached his car, where he was leaning casually against the passenger door. "You okay? You seem a little distracted. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing... nothing..." I murmured, clearing my throat. He'd think I was crazy if I told him I felt something for my stepbrother. He—and anyone who could hear my thoughts in that moment—would think I'd lost it. "Sorry for taking so long. I think... I think the food didn't sit well with me," I lied, blurting out the first excuse that came to mind to avoid further questions.

"Oh, no..." His smile vanished instantly. "Then I'll take you home."

"Didn't you say you had something planned after the bowling alley?"

For some reason, I felt bad seeing him so downcast. And besides, why did I feel as if I were deceiving him? I didn't know why I felt like that—we weren't anything. The only one doing any deceiving here was Billy, with Sandra, and with me. A shiver ran through me as those thoughts swirled in my head. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Yeah, but that can wait," he said with a forced smile. "Besides, you've had a long day—with the fall, the hospital, and reluctantly agreeing to go out with me."

"It wasn't reluctantly, silly. Honestly, I had a great time. It gave me a chance to get to know you a little better. Plus, you managed to make me laugh after a total crap day," I said with a smile, nudging him playfully with my hip.

"Then it wasn't all in vain," he replied, smiling again, his eyes lighting up. "That's good enough for me. Let me take you home—you probably need some rest." He straightened up and opened the passenger door with a little flourish. "Your carriage awaits, fair lady."