Burning Love ~ Billy Hargrove ( +18)

Chapter 31

                             Maddie's POV

   Thursday, December 20, 1984

It was clear that the idea of the dinner was a stupid idea. More like a horrible idea. I don't know how my mother failed to realize that. If the four of us couldn't even manage a normal dinner, how were we supposed to pull it off by bringing Steve and Sandra home?

On top of everything, Steve wasn't even my boyfriend, so we'd both have to lie and pretend like we were in love. I mean, I cared about him, but for now only as a friend. And then there was Sandra. Poor thing, she's as sweet as can be, and as soon as we told her about the dinner, she was over the moon with excitement.

Surely, among Steve, Billy, Sandra, and me, Sandra was the only one who was actually looking forward to the dinner. Of course, she was excited because she had no idea she was being played for a fool, wearing more horns than a reindeer thanks to my idiot brother. And me.

Because I'm stupid, and I'm the reason that sweet, innocent woman is walking around with such a massive set of horns.

It's true that I liked going out and having flings with whoever caught my eye.
But I would never go for a guy who had a girlfriend—that was crossing the line, even for me.
A floozy, yes, but a floozy with principles. But no, I just had to break that rule for the first time with the one person I absolutely shouldn't have: my stepbrother and his sweet girlfriend, who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Although I have to admit, since that night, for some strange reason, Billy had kept his distance from me. He only spoke to me when necessary and spent most of his time with Sandra. This left me feeling conflicted.

On one hand, I felt relieved because the distance meant I didn't have to put up with his nonsense or fight with him constantly. But on the other hand... I couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy every time I thought about him trying to take his relationship with Sandra seriously.

This last part was what unsettled me the most. On one hand, I wanted things to go well for them, because that would mean that, finally, he'd leave me alone. But on the other hand, I couldn't lie to myself—thinking about Billy never kissing me, touching me, or holding me again drove me crazier than I wanted to admit.

And then there was Steve.
I knew dragging him into this mess, no matter how good his intentions were, was a complete disaster. I knew he felt more than friendship for me, and you don't need to be a genius to figure out that pretending he was my boyfriend wasn't the best way for him to get over me.

But the worst part wasn't even that. The worst part was that, as if being confused about how I felt about Billy wasn't enough, the kiss Steve gave me that night after writing that beautiful thing on my arm... well... Let's just say I was lying again when I said I only saw him as a friend. I think I still felt something different for him. And it didn't help at all that, since that day, Steve and I had been getting closer and closer.

Damn it, Maddie. For once you start feeling something, and it can't be for just one guy. No, it has to be for two. Two completely opposite guys. And on top of that, one of them has to be your stepbrother.

And as unbelievable as it sounds, my only escape during these weeks—from that whirlwind of feelings piling up and the misery of living with Neil—was Nancy Wheeler and Eddie Munson.

With Nancy, we'd meet up to plan the Hawkins High Christmas dance. It wasn't exactly my favorite activity—not even close—but anything was better than staying in that house.

Besides, as soon as they took my cast off, we took the chance to do a few shooting lessons, just in case another monster from the Upside Down decided to show up. Through all that, Nancy and I ended up bonding quite a bit.