Inspiration of an unlucky girl

Stop Pretending.

Wanna know what I don't understand? Why did he chase me for 3 fucking months and when I kept warning him, I'm hard to love, that people always leave me, the fact that I warned him that I'm a freaking huge storm of damage and pain, that if I fell for him and he where to leave me, I'd be worst then what I was before... I was finally okay when I met him, I was still struggling but I was stable. I let my heart love him so deeply I let it love him with what I had left of my damaged soul... And the high just wasn't worth it. It's not worth the loneliness I feel so deeply. And when I told you how I felt when you left me you played it off like it wasn't a big deal... Idk about you but I fucking meant what I said, I meant it when I said you where perfect to me, I meant it when I said I wanted to be with you for ever. I meant what I said when I said you where my world. HOW THE HELL DO YOU GO TO BEING SO IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND WITHIN A WEEK YOUR NOT?
You said you wanted me to be the one you loved with everything but couldn't. The feeling you where looking for wasn't working with me. You said you wasn't the perfect guy for me. What? How can you say that? How can you say what's perfect for me? I thought I was the judge of that, not you. What you meant to say was I wasn't perfect for you...
Am I that hard to fall in love with. Am I that hard to love at all?
I don't blame you for your change at heart, I wouldn't fall in love with me either and stay in love. I don't hate you, I just hate the fact that it hurts so much. I hate the fact that I can't sleep anymore. I hate the fact not being able to be with you anymore. I'll be fine I guess, I'm emotional, I'm dysfunctional.
But don't say you wanna be friends when every time I text you I'm lucky to get answered, and if I do it's hours later. Could you just say you don't want me completely? That I was a mistake? Because I'm not stupid, I know I am. Okay? I'm ok with that, just be straight forward with me that's all I ask.
I just miss us talking everyday before we dated. When we where good friends. I hate losing that part of people over a stupid relationship, but it hasn't killed me yet so I won't let it now. But just please stop pretending.