Guessing Sparkles (WA 2013)

Unfinished Business

"I'd like to be free as a bird. Do the things I want to do in my life without someone telling me I can't." - KC Sparks

Chapter Twenty-Four: Unfinished Business

 "What did you say?" I said and blinked. "What do you mean I'm dead? I am not dead! I mean, for all you know this might be just a dream. Perhaps, I'm still alive but in a state of coma. You know, just like in the movies. I-I just can't be dead."

 She just stood there and didn't say anything at all. I was actually hoping that Marge was just kidding about it. That she was just trying to crack a joke. Though I must say that it wasn't a good one, actually. And if she was really kidding, it won't make me laugh either. But her facial expression proved me wrong. She looked pretty sincere about it. There was no trace on her face that she was fighting the urge to laugh. The last thing I could remember that had happened to me back on earth was that a truck hit me. I ran out of the hotel crying because I felt bad about the letter from Peter. My heart couldn't believe that the man who fell in love with me turned out to be different. He was no longer the same Peter that I knew. The Peter I had learned to fall in love with. 

Katniss called out my name, but I just kept running outside. I ignored the whole world surrounding me. All that I was thinking that moment was to forget about the miserable life I had. The life that I never really understood. I thought about all the things that could have been done if I wasn't a coward. As I was too drowned in my own thoughts, I didn't notice a truck approaching. That moment when I saw the truck on my side, I didn't feel a single bit of fear inside. It was as if I was ready to face the end of me. Like, I wanted to feel all the hurt because that was what I always suffer in my life. But I was wrong again for thinking that I was ready to leave the life I hated. 

The thought of being dead actually scared me to bits. I was scared to think that I was no longer existing on earth. But it wasn't just about that. My heart couldn't stand the thought of not being able to correct all the mistakes I did when I was still alive. The wrong things that should have been changed if I had enough time on earth. I felt really bad that I could no longer tell Peter how sorry I was for being such a coward. That I should have done the right thing. And the right thing was to be with him. The thought of leaving him permanently broke my heart even more. I still wanted to win him back and love him all over again. All the things I wanted to do with him in the future suddenly crumbled down—just like how King Kong defeated some of the jets flying over him. 

It was too early for me to leave the earth. There were still plenty of things I wanted to accomplish in my life. Like for example, I dreamed to finish my masters degree in college and publish my very first book. I was such a big dreamer. A girl, who despite of all the heartaches she suffered in her life, she still believed that her dreams were worth it. That she deserved to be happy too. The only problem was that—she had no idea where to start. Time for me back then wasn't that super important. Perhaps, because I was still young and I thought I would live longer. But time for me now was different. If I could only bring back my life, I'd give time an importance. 

"Can you tell me what happened after my death?" I said, tears falling down on my face. "What happened to my sister's wedding and to Peter? Are they happy? Please tell me everything."

"It's been five years since your death, actually," Marge said and took a deep sigh. "So many things happened in those five years."

"What do you mean five years?" I said and frowned."The accident just happened yesterday!"

"The time here is different," Marge said and crossed her arms against her chest. "And you fell asleep for a very long time. I actually thought it would last for a hundred, but I'm glad it didn't. Look, Clarie, I understand how crazy this sounds for you."