Impossible Admiration

"To the Person who raised me"

How do I tie my shoelaces? Why do you insist on me wearing those mismatched socks?

You were always there for that little girl with big questions, an eye for the world and a dream worth all the clocks,

You gave her quite conventional answers, for why laces stay on, and socks look the same, never once did you make her feel scared or ashamed.

Her childhood was filled with golden rays, once she looked back on them, it puts a smile on her face.

I wish you could see her now, the girl you loved, because she is but isn't now quite a grown-up. You would be so proud of her, if only you could see her now, how she applied all she learned from you..., how, now.

She lies on her bed, driven with thoughts, she was full of love and poured it all out, to people undeserving, who left her heart in pieces, trying, yearning. A garden of hopes once thriving...

She learned from you how to tie her laces, so now she uses that to string and tie her heart in all the right places, she stitches it with care and cautiousness not missing a rip, lest she disappoints, she can escape only through her tears.

She was so used to being loved in such a way, that she wanted to offer that to people she thought did the same, she asked nothing in return as you did, to give without expecting and be a generous and kind kid.

She wasn't aware how people could take her for granted, rip her to pieces and take more from her, less and less for their advantage. But still, with love and the lessons she had learned from you, she stood upright and braver than anyone had expected.

She picked the mismatched socks from her drawer, the ones with a different face, she wore it everyday to her school and workplace, she followed your advice, the only thing she had, and made it seem perfect in front of everyone's weary eyes.

So if only you knew, how much those lessons meant to her, how she built herself up with the simple building blocks you gave her, those lessons and love she held close to her heart, are what made her survive through her trying life.