Letter to GOD

Dissapointment

Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes its hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in marching forward.   - Henry Ford

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Chapter 9 - unedited

I woke up at five in the morning. Due to excitement of going to Sindhupalchwok with Amu and school for relief campaign, I just couldn't resist myself from getting up early. Being the first one to get up, there was nothing I could exactly do, I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat in front of the Television.  It was boring because all my favorite channels were showing tele-shopping advertisement.   I really got restless. Adi was sleeping soundly. I became very jealous because now even if I tried to sleep, I would never be able to do that.

I wanted to wake Adi up but I didn't want to do that. That would make me a really wicked which I didn't want to. So I just went upstairs and Started making my dress ready. I had decided to wear a Blue sweat shirt with a  black Nike trousers. My shoes were always the same because I am a girl who never fancied sport. So I had just had a pair of sports shoes that I hardly wore. It was a greyish pink Reebok and I loved it.  So I was just looking at the clothes I would be wearing. Then suddenly I noticed blue, black and pink. I totally suck in these styling and fashion. I thought for a while then I had an idea... I looked out and gave a big smile. I knew it would be cold so I went to the wardrobe and took out a white t-shirt and a pink hoodie. Again, I looked at the new set of clothes; pink, black and pink. That's cool!

I looked at the lock. Whoa! times really flies. It was already seven. Amu had already woken up. She was on the phone when I came downstairs. She was talking to Chandra Sir about today's programme. Her face dropped as soon as he said something. I looked at her, she looked back at me and gave a forced smile. I knew something was not okay. After sometime she came to me, sat beside on the sofa and kept her hand on my shoulder.

" They said they'll not take children along. It will be a burden. They will be busy with other works. So you'll not be going." I literally wanted to cry at that moment. I had been so exited for today. It was all shattered. I had thought I would become a social server for the first time in my life but it was all gone. I was not allowed to go.

I was a little angry. I was upset. I had mixed emotions again. I always have mixed emotion when i go blank because for me I can cannot breath without emotions... So when not sure about the emotion, its called "mixed emotion".  I just ran upstairs and buried my face on the  duvet and just as I was about burst out, my mind started screaming... " Yaay, no need to go out, no trouble of walking all the way, just stay at home and rest." I wanted to shove away that feeling, it was kind of mean but again i thought from the angelic side, I would be at home to look after Adi and Kabir while Amu was out on the trip. It wouldn't be a trouble for Daddy cool and Anu mommy.

I got up, went to Amu and looked at her. I was trying to say her something but she just wasn't being able to understand. We really sucked in this eye to eye talk. So I just preferred to speak rather than wasting time.

"You'll be alright, Amu?"

"You trust me?"

"Yeah, but will you be alright?"

" Don't worry, I'll call you for updates. I'll be fine."

She gave me a satisfying smile. I was relieved. I didn't want Amu to risk her life alone. I would have happily gone with her but I was always reluctant to send her anywhere alone. I was completely incomplete without her. She was my best friend, my teacher, my love, my valentine, my partner, my temple run student, she was my everything. I couldn't afford to lose her. But because she said she would be fine, I had to believe her.

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