Heart Scars

Thirty Two

Her friends were up when she walked into the common room. Alecto let out a little screech when she saw Adhara, and immediately launched herself into Adhara's arms.

"We were so worried when you didn't come home." She shrieks.

"We thought he'd-" Evan cuts himself off, his eyes immediately glassing over.

They thought he'd killed her.

"Im really sorry. I was so tired-"

"It's alright, dear. Let's get you to bed." Pandora quickly interrupts and grabs Adhara's hand. Together they walk up to Adhara's dorm. Pandora helps Adhara change and crawl into bed. Pandora sat on the side of the bed and begins to stroke Adhara's hair.

"He tortured you, didn't he?" Her voice was no higher than a whisper, but it seemed to disrupt the quietness of the room. She nods.

"I saw it. You then spent the night with Lupin." Pandora says. Adhara again nods.

"He's good." Pandora smiles.

"Too good for me." Adhara mumbles. She wraps herself tighter in her blanket. Pandora shakes her head, and her soft blonde curls shake.

"No, he's not. He's the perfect amount of good for you. He lights up your darkness." Pandora presses a gentle kiss to Adhara's head and leaves.

///

Adhara stayed in bed until Monday morning, when Alecto forced her to class. She was stiff, and every muscle in her body ached.

Her hands were the worst. The were constantly hit with fits of spasms, that no amount of potion could make go away. Poppy said they may never go away, something about nerve damage.

It made writing harder, and many of her essays were now streaked with random tics of ink. She tried to explain to her professors in as little detail as possible; only McGonagall really saw through her act.

Remus noticed in care of magical creatures just days before Halloween. They were petting a kneazle, and Adhara's hands twitched so violently that the animal bolted.

"Ara?" Remus was holding her in a second, and she let small whimpers pass through her lips. They caused her muscles to tighten and pain to shoot up her arms.

"Miss Black, is there a problem?" It was Kettleburn, old Kettleburn who seemed not to understand when a person was in pain.

"No, I think I'm going to take her to the hospital wing." Remus says quickly, and he quickly wraps her in his arms and helps her to the school. She didn't question as he took her to his common room.

"It's alright. Here, murtlap essence, it'll help the pain." He dips her hands in a bowl of amber liquid, which sloshes over the side as her hands create waves. Remus begins playing with her hair.

"T-thanks, Remus." She finally gets out as the pain becomes bearable. There have been moments in the night where she'd wake up sobbing from the pain.

"Anything. I would do anything for you, Ara, all you need to do is ask." He lays a hand on her cheek. Adhara leans into it, into those calloused hands that smelled like chocolate. She sighs.

"I wish that I could freeze us. Now. No, before. Before I became a death eater, before I was forced away from you." She whispers. Remus sighs and places a kiss on her forehead. For some reason, his gentle kisses no longer shocked her, but were instead welcome whenever he wanted to kiss her. She wished he would really kiss her.

"What are the Slytherin plans for Halloween?" Remus mumbles. Adhara shrugs.

"I don't know. The mood has been depressing since half of us are death eaters. I love Halloween, though. I get to dress up, and pretend I'm something I'm not." She smiles gently, and Remus leans his forehead against hers.

"Someday, me and you will celebrate Halloween together, every year. Well make a real party of it. James and Lily, Marlene and Dorcas, Peter, Sirius, Mary, Regulus, and anyone else you feel like inviting." Remus says seriously.

She didn't believe him. How could she, when they lived in a world where someday wasn't a sure thing? They could both be dead tomorrow and there's not a thing the other could do about it.

"Okay." She whispers back, because even if she knew it, she didn't want to crush his hope. Remus and the others lived in a world where good always defeats evil and happy endings always came true. How could she tell him that the bad guy could win and there were sad endings? How could she break what she loved most about him?

"A cottage, somewhere in the woods. Somewhere we can live simply. Raise a family, have our friends and family over, somewhere we can make something for ourselves." Remus continues.

"Away from our past." Adhara whispers. Remus nods against her head.

"No one will know you as Adhara Black the death eater. No one will ever associate you with him. Not after we've won and you're with me. Never again will you be judged for your last name." He assured her.

"Adhara Lyra Lupin." She whispers. Remus beams, and his brown eyes light up.

His lips are familiar to her; on her cheek, on her nose, on her forehead, but on her lips is new. His lips had never before caressed hers like they were now. She had never tasted the chocolate and coffee on his lips, though she had often fantasized about it.

Her fingers wove through his brown waves, soft and fluffy in her fingers. His hands pulled her closer, wanting to keep her from running from him.

He pulled her on top of him as he leaned back on the couch. Their kiss became faster, hungrier, more passionate. They had waited so long for this; months of glances of longing and almosts that were finally coming true. Adhara wanted him forever.

They pulled away for air, their chests heaving and their eyes staring into each other's. Remus tucks a black lock behind her ear. Again he places his lips right against hers.

"You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He whispers. But she does. Because she had been wanting to do it for just as long as him. She smashes her lips back against his.

Adhara finally gave in. She loved him. She had loved him since she had met him. She would always love him. No matter what happened to them, Remus Lupin would always hold her heart. Not just a piece, the whole thing. Remus Lupin was her heart. He owned every bit of it.

"I love you. I need you. You can't leave me again, I can't bear it. You are the reason my heart beats. I wake up every morning so I can see you." He whispers. Adhara's heart flutters.

"Oh, Remus." And then she was kissing him again. His lips were the reason she was alive, they gave life back to her when she so desperately needed it. He kept her afloat when she drowned, he protected her when she could not protect herself.

The portrait hole opened too soon, and collective gasps were heard as Remus and Adhara pulled apart. James, Sirius, and Lily stood side by side, their jaws opened comically.

"Ara! Remus! Wha-" James stumbles out.

"Oh my." Lily says as she looks at the floor.

"Get off my sister you bleeding bastard!" Sirius shrieks. Adhara quickly launches away from Remus, but he catches her hand and pulls her back in.

"Where are you going?" He whispers as his lips press against her ear. He presses a gentle kiss just below it.

"We've been caught!" She exclaims.

"So we have." He kisses her jaw.

"And you're not at all fazed!" She stares at the other people in the room with wide eyes.

"Not one bit, my love." He kisses the tip of her nose.

"Oh, mon cher." She whispers as her lips meet his again. She ignores Sirius's disgusted yelp.

She had finally chose herself.