Heart Scars

Forty Two

Adhara sat at the welcome back feast surrounded by her friends. Amycus and Alecto had completely shut out their group, but she didn't mind much. They were now sitting with Rabastan Lestrange and his group, and Adhara knew the boy and girl she knew were long gone.

"Regulus, how was your holiday?" Pandora coos. Regulus moves his eyes to Pandora, and Adhara sighs as she looks to where Regulus's eyes had previously been.

The French Ravenclaw still seemed to have Regulus enamored, and Adhara could no longer fight against it, not now when he knew the truth about her and Remus. She would be seen as a hypocrite, and the last thing she wanted was for her brother to hate her.

"It was fine, Panda." He says simply. The girl purses her lips, but does not say another word. Pandora knew. Between her visions and her instincts, she knew something awful had happened over their break.

Her dorm was quiet when she got there. Alecto was already getting ready. The girl was putting curlers in her hair, and Adhara quickly avoided her. They weren't friends. They never would be again, and Adhara felt the loss, just like she knew Alecto felt it.

She put wards around her bed while she slept. She didn't trust the Carrow girl, not anymore. Adhara could almost picture it; Alecto attacking her in her sleep. She believed her old best friend could do anything after leaving her in that fire.

The second half of term picked up just like all the rest. Adhara went to classes, kept her head down, and powered through every speech about N.E.W.T's that she had already endured. It felt as though she were just floating through life; not really living, just surviving.

No word came from the dark lord, or Dumbledore. Deaths were featured in the prophet every morning; muggle and magical. It was sickening when a name they recognized popped up, and a student disappeared from the school. Most the time for a funeral, but sometimes they never returned.

It was a week after they returned from break that Adhara was finally able to slip away long enough to meet with James, Sirius, and Remus. They met in the tunnel under the one eyed witch statue. Adhara sat across from Sirius, their feet kicking at the others every so often. It reminded her of when they were children, and Adhara and Sirius would kick under the table at dinner.

"Dumbledore's referred us to the auror program." James says quietly. Adhara's eyes flutter closed for a moment, before she opens them with a sigh.

"You three?" She hums, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Yes, and Peter, Marlene, Mary, and Lily. Dorcas wants to join after she graduates." Sirius answers.

"And this is what you want?" She doesn't look at Sirius, or even Remus. Her eyes stick to James, who looked unsure. She would argue or cause a fight, it would do no good to anyone. But James wasn't fully committed to this, and she hoped he could be swayed. The others followed him blindly, and all it would take for them to not go through with it was James expressing his doubts.

"I-Ara it's decided. Dumbledore wants us to have training before we actually become big parts of the order." James sighs. She could see it in his face that this wasn't what he wanted anymore.

Maybe before he would have killed for the chance to become an auror, to fight death eaters. But he didn't want it anymore, not now that it meant fighting the girl he considered a sister.

"What happens if we meet? Out in the real world?" Sirius whispers, a small shutter crashing through his body. They fall silent for a few moments.

"We pretend we're enemies. I can't give up my mission, and you guys can't hold back. You won't even know it's me. I'm not allowed to go anywhere without a mask."