Lemongrass and Sleep (A Clodagh Story)

Blue Hair

"Really? You want to cut your hair?" It was midnight. Very early on a Sunday, and Sorscha questioned me like I had just survived space without a helmet.

"It's giving me sensory issues.. I don't like the feeling I get when it gets caught, or the knots are too tight so I have to tug on my hair to get it out, and with everything that happened, I want a fresh start." I tried to reason.

"Are you sure? It's kind of a big decision," I nod, and look at her with puppy dog eyes. She sighs and thinks for a moment.

"Let me go grab my mam's old kit." Fia, used to be a cosmetologist, working in the hair industry, she quit her old job but still has a lot of her old kits and supplies. Sorscha wasn't going to use some old kitchen scissors from the 90's to cut my hair.

I stood in the bathroom and waited until I heard the rattling of the bag coming from the hallway.

"Ready to get started?" I nod my head and she lays out the tools from bag, grabbing scissors and a comb. We brush my hair first to get rid of the knots from the day which there were unfortunately quite a bit. My "parents" never let me get my hair cut, they thought I would look unattractive and boys wouldn't like me. After Emmet however, I don't think I want guys to like me.

Her mom had taught her some skills so I trusted her with my hair. I was nervous about what I would look like but there's turning back when you hear the snip of the scissors and feel the strachiness of the now loose and independent hair.

It was weird to watch my hair become shorter ever so slowly, it was surreal. I have only ever grown up with it long and now I am very, ever, so slightly, impulsively cutting it.

I closed my eyes near the end, I had almost waist length hair and I wanted her to cut it a to be just touching my shoulders. I heard one last snip, and the scissors shut.

I felt her hand graze across my back as she dusted off the hair that had attached itself to my shirt and I felt her rake through the ends of my hair to get any stragglers.

Eventually she was done with making sure everything was cleaned off me and she covered my eyes, which were still shut, with her hands.

"3...2...1..." and he opened her hands and my eyes fluttered open in a quick manner but they had to adjust to the light.

Once I was adjusted to the light, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I smiled albeit a little shocked. Sure, I had thought about it multiple times and had visulized it but it felt so odd to actually see it on me.

I liked it.

I ran my fingers through my new hair and it felt so much healthier and soft.

We picked up all the hair on the floor once I finished my Disney Princess transformation moment and put away the hair kit. As well as very quickly checked the school's rule book and I still had to wear it up unfortunately. We fell asleep not long after in Sorscha's bed and woke up when Fia was returning home from work, which we joke that she is our human alarm clock when she gets home from night shifts.

After Fia had quit her hairdresser job, right before Sorscha was born, she decided to go back to university while her older children who Sorscha told me would have been 15, 14, 11, and 8. She has a lot of siblings, but I can't complain, I love them as though they were my own. Fia went back to college and became a nurse practitioner, usually working night shifts on the weekends and day shifts during the week. Sorscha says she hates to see her mom so tired sometimes but she's grateful that she can have so many opportunities thanks to her.

When Fia saw me walk out of the bedroom with about half the hair I had when she saw me 12 hours previously I'm sure it nearly gave her a heart attack.

"What did you girls do last night?" she chuckled a bit in her question though she sounded infinitely tired.

"We cut my hair.."

"I see that, any particular reason for doing such?"

"Not really, I just needed a fresh start."

"I understand that, I'm going to sleep but when I wake up I'll just oduble check your hair to make sure it's even." I thank her and nod as she walks down to her bedroom.

I didn't have anything to do today so I turned on the tv and some disney channel. I woke up before Sorscha most days so she was snoring away, because she does snore. Quite loudly. But you do get used to it after a few months.

I heard a knock on the door, very confused because Sorscha's dad was on abusiness trip for another few days but it might be a delivery. So I opened the door.

Police men, carrying boxes.

"Hello..?" I asked in confusion as to why they were here.

"Hello, are you Clodagh Doyle?" I nod in agreement.

"These boxes were confiscated from your parent's residence for evidence purposes however, the lawyers have gained all the information they need so we are here to return them."

I instruct them to place them in the doorway an I thank them and close the door. The first was a shoe box covered in black cardstock paper with silver sharpie saying "Clo's Keep Out!"

I open the box and rummage through it, old notes and photos. I stumbled across one at the bottom. The first family photo ever. I was only a month or two old. On the back it said:
There lies a photograph of you
Deep in a box of broken things.
This was the face I loved and knew
Five years ago, when life had wings....

I had written it when I was 10 when everything started to spiral.

A/N: that poem thing is from my English test today yall...