MY DECISION

III

Feeling hurt and anger boiling inside me. We went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Taiyaki, Gohiel mochi. It was really fun spending time with each other . She remind me of mom . How I really miss her so dearly, how will she be feeling, how I still feel bad for not informing her. she might be really worried and this my Cause more troubles what if dad things she supported me. Then my thought went back to Jun, how I so much hate myself each time I remember him.
" Emma, what if we prepare kaisen-dan tomorrow??.." mie called out which take me back fully at home. Dad's favorite meal every weekend. I really miss home, my family. I couldn't figure out when I started crying. Mie walked to me surprised and concerned.
" You are crying?.. what's wrong?" She ask placing a hand at my back.
" Mie.. I miss Home, I miss my family..." I couldn't help myself anymore. I was already sobbing like a child not minding if the kids hear me. She pull me close to her making me bury my face and her arms, trying to calm me down. Yes, she did because I stopped whipping my face. We both prepare the meal. It didn't take us long we were done. We served the meal at the dinning walking round to throw an alarm.
It was a general meal. Angel sat beside me while the other kids sat beside mie. I dish out the meal. We had started eating when the door got open and Xiaofei walked in. I had forgotten he existed because I never wanted to think of him. We were actually staring at the door. He got that look if a child. He slowly walked in and had his sit next to me.
" Were went you??" That was from mie to him. I never bother raising to State at him.
But there was no reply. Grandpa only stared at mie and gave her a sign to let him be. I muttered no word and it's fine because I don't want to spoil the mood.
We eat in much silent and less talk.

*
After the meal, everyone went to their rooms except xiaofei who still sat there. Mie and I clear up the table. Mie suddenly left to the kitchen. I turned towards the direction of the kitchen walking towards it when he spoke.
'Hey??.." I stop but never turned. He stood up walking towards me. He stood behide me close to me.
" How are you? How are you enjoying this place??" Sincerely I wanted shouting at him but I couldn't but I don't know why. I only found myself nodding to him. " Good..and You " I spoke out walking towards my room.
" What happened " he asked.
" For what?" I got my room door walking in. He filled too. I expected that.
" Why acting calm?" It was a good question but could I day
" Like' it came out of my lips
" You're giving me short words and I'm not comfortable"
" Really??"
"Yes..s" he walked forward confronting me.
" Okay......." I was really acting busy, arranging the room that was already arrange just to calm myself.
I turned towards the bed having a sit. He walked to the bed too and sat. Next to be, he turned staring at me, he suddenly lower his gaze on my shoulder close to my ear as if want to whispered some word but instead I felt his lips on my bare neck.
" I miss you" he added in a whispered but I ignored him.

" You aren't responding" he yelled out pulling my face to stare at his. But I immediately ignore him, I stood up walking towards the cupboard finding a novel for me, I was about moving to the couch when a hand pull me back.
" You are ignoring me!!..." He yelled again. I only stared confuse. " Now you are yelling, who is to yell, you left and never come back but now you are yelling??... Seriously??..."
" But mie was here to take care of you!"
" Yeah..mie..mie..mie, mie brought me here right?.. mie does everything, alright. " I turned towards the door but he held me back.
" Get your hands away from me, what do yoake me for?? A girl who you could keep home and Hange out with other girls??..All because if you I'm here .. because I chose you.. chose you than home Xiaofei..but you chose to do this to me, I'm your wife, I have your blood running inside me. Because I want you...yess" I couldn't hold it anymore so I cried out.

" I don't know what you are saying!!" His voice was loud. " Really???..you don't know what I'm talking about??, Fine..the lady you were out with , tell me..you don't know what I'm saying that I'm lying..tell me xiaofei. He only stood there staring like he never knew what I was saying.
I walked to the bed having my sit.
" Emma!!....
" Don't come close, I don't need any explanation, just go..go be with her since you want her , then leave ..
" Emma..I..
" I said you should leave ...." Yelling out.
He quietly turned walking out in a slow manner, I watched him leave the room closing the door behind me. Making sure I ignored him in any way.
Sitting in the room alone bored and lonely.
I stood up walking outside to go check on mie. I know I don't know her room but I was just walking towards the hall. Staring round but grandpa's voice  stoped me. He was inside the room beside my right, he was speaking to someone.
" What's the problem with you??.. you got her really worried.." I didn't have to be told it's xiaofei.
" She's upset with me" he muttered
" I don't think so...Orr you guys have a fight??" He pull up a brow
" She saw me with Sophia and she thinks we are.....
" What??.. you didn't explain to her, you didn't tell you she's your cousin??... You're stupid..go explain to her."
" She don't want to hear me out.."
" Why won't she??.. she thinks you are stupid..ahh..no, you aren't not..yiu were being rejected by your own father because of her then why won't she?. just go meet her and tell her." I was sad and sorry for him. I didn't give him space to explain but he would have say that.
I had to leave before I got caught so I went.
Walking back to my room. Finding it so difficult to sleep, I Know he wasn't ganna come back. So I stayed alone all the night staring and counting the ceiling.

It was the next day. I lyed on bed praying for him to come in. But I know he wasn't. So I push myself off from bed instead of lying there staring at the ceiling and yurnning or turning on the bed. But the door got open making me startled.
It was him, I was happy but embarrassed. He stared at the table as if looking for something. But what is he looking for in my room if not to speak to me.
" Why???...why didn't you inform me earlier??" I asked staring calm at him.  He fully stared at me giving me a confused look.
" About... Sophia, you allowed me yelled and shout at you for nothing. "
" I'm sorry" he muttered, his gaze low on me.
" Sorry??..what about how you were rejected by your own father just because if me!." His gaze turned into a surprise one.
" I'm not being rejected by anyone!" His voice deep but good.
" You want to lie??... I heard you and grandpa talking , why didn't you tell me??"
" You wouldn't have done anything...what will you do???, And that's isn't any problem. He move towards the dressing table.
" You said that isn't a problem??.. if I had known about it then .... Why doing all this because of me??.. your father ill- treat you because of me!."
" I'm not.." he yelled facing me.
" You are xiaofei!!.. I know everything " my voice covering his. He quickly pull me to his arm, staring deep at me, I raise my gaze to him but he slowly lean placing his lips on mine.

**********
It has been almost a week now, xiaofei had gone to visit his father. He had said
" His my father and his sick and I can't just leave him like that, I need to go see him.
Grandpa had also tried stopping him but he had refuse listing. So I couldn't stop him.
Now on bed, trying to read, I had miss him and worried about him too. But grandpa had assured me he was fine, all thanks to mie who stick with me and make me sometimes forget about him. Angel now enjoy playing with other kids and have no time for me. And it's great.
A sudden air blow pass my ears, I was never expecting that, and it got me startled making me jerk looking at the direction quickly, surprising I found him staring at me, I didn't figure out when ge came to the room.
" What am awesome surprised!" I said smiling at him, he smiled back at me also nodding.

" Yeah..I thought you might be missing means feeling bored so I came back!"
" No way, mie is here round me making me feel good and happy!" I muttered in a way that seems I was playing.

" Aww... You forget me??.." he asked with a fad fown.
" Ahh... What happen home?" I asked giving out a searching look, he wasn't look bad anyway. And that tells me nothing bad happy.
" Fine, he send some greetings" he smiled.
First I was shock, his father send some greetings, I know it might not be for me because he won't dare. But I only nodded.
"Sophia, sarah and my brother send greetings too. Sophia gave me this to give to you" he took his hand to his back pocket checking for something, then he pull it handling a diamond hair pin and a silver necklace
" Wow.. it's beautiful " I said, it was really beautiful. I place them back on the table. By now I was seated on the bed staring at him. He sat next to me staring at me too, I couldn't resist that look so I stared back confused, he lean further running his finger at my cheeks.
" Can I spend sometime with you??" I was shock for that question. I was the one always asking and not the other way round.
" I take your silent as yes" he raise a brow with a smile , claiming the bed, he pull me lying me on bed.
A shiver rans down my spine. He lyed with his elbow playing with my hair.
" Angel really miss you!" I muttered as a mean to distract him.but he only snorb me, he run his finger at my check down my throat, his other hand running towards my shoulder, Lossening the robe on my dress, slighting it down my shoulder, he wasn't playing at attention in anything I say
" I wish I could see my parents, I really missed them!" He stared giving me a calm look as if about to say something but he continues playing with my face and other stuff. He lower himself.
Then pause, his look darken with a fown. withdrawing from me.
" You are on your monthly flow??" I was shock and ashamed, how did he know that. I thought he was going to get upset and Leave but he learned for brushing his lips on mine. *

I had fallen asleep, I wake up and found mie in my bed seated staring at me while xiaofei was no were to be found.
" We're is xiaofei?.." I asked
" He step out, he asked me to take care of you?"
" I'm fine " I said and she went away. I stood up to go have a shower.
I made a bath for myself, I went into the warm bathe. Relaxing myself when the door got open, I got startled thinking it might be him but it was Angel.
" What are you doing her?" I asked.
" I checked everywhere but didn't find you do I had to come to room to check if you need me " she said .
" Alright I'm fine, you can leave let mom have a shower. She ran out happy. I got off from the bathtub, I slid into blue nightgown waiting for xiaofei, I have waited for so long but I couldn't, do I decided to find him.
" What are you doing......" A voice spoke behide me getting me scared I quickly turned, shocked and scared......

*****