Paraphernalia {Perrentes}

Poor Unfortunate Soul

Tony

"This is our first session. How are you feeling?" The words rang in my head. How am I feeling? Scared. Lost. Depressed. All these emotions aren't real. Are they? They are just words to make you think that you feel some thing. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Tony, you do understand that if you don't talk to me I cant help you." Dr. Iero explained. I nodded my head. He sighed and asked me once more. Once again the words rang in my head. "Fine." I simply answered trying to not push the subject. "Tony, lying gets you nowhere." He said in a tern voice. I nodded once more. He sighed again and set his notebook down. "I want you to close your eyes." He started, I gave him a questioning look.

"What is this going to do?" I questioned. "Just close your eyes. Think about a bad time. A terrible memory that you can't forget." I slowly nodded my head and tried to think about a bad memory. "I don't get it." I explained. "It doesn't work if you talk. Did you think of the memory?" He asked, I nodded my head. "Alright. Now I want you to tell me the memory. Your surroundings, the people you were with, anything." I nodded once more.

"I'm at a park. The trees branches are swaying side to side due to the wind. It is cold, but I have a jacket on. My hair is unruly. My boyfriend is sitting next to me, trying to tell me something. But I wont listen. He looks hurt. Broken almost. I keep avoiding what he really wants to say." I paused and cringe my face at the sudden memory. "He then kisses me so I can shut up. He looks down at our intertwined fingers and slowly lets go. He says he's not ready to be in a relationship with a guy. My heart breaks. I beg him to stay but its to late. He is gone."

Tears slowly fall down my face one by one.  I slowly open my eyes and blink away the access tears. "He ignored my pleas, and then proceeded to kiss my friend." I whispered. "How does this make you feel?" He asked. I looked up with tears in my eyes. "I feel alone. Broken. Hurt." I said above a whisper. "Close your eyes again." I did as instructed. "I want you to think of the same situation. But instead of it being sad. Make it happy." I nodded, and thought about the depressing day. "Tell me what you see." I took in a deep breath.

"I'm at a park. The branches aren't moving, but there is a little breeze. It's warm. My hair is neat, but I have a hat on. I'm sitting on the bench next to Oliver. Were laughing. Smiling, like in the beginning. He kisses me and it only makes me fall deeper in love with him. He backs away and the words come out. The words I've been wanting to hear for months. Years almost. He says I love you." I open my eyes and a tear falls down my face.

"How do you feel Tony?" DR. Iero asked. I looked up and smiled slightly. "I feel. Great." I said, he nodded and dismissed me. I walked out into the cold hallway to the cafeteria. Only to be greeted by a group in the middle. I slowly walk to the huddled group of kids to see that Mike is back. I felt my heart stop. He was supposed to be in the hospital for another week. I am not prepared to talk to him now, not like this. I sigh, and turn around so I can walk to my room. But it is to late when Nurse Gunn catches me.

"Tony, are you going to talk to him?" She asked kindly, I sighed and turned to the short brunette. "I can't. I'm not ready." I told her she just chuckled. I gave her a confused look. "Sit." She said motioning to a table far from the group. I did as she told, and waited for her to speak. "Love waits for nobody." She sated. I nodded my head. "What does love have to do with it?" I questioned. She chuckled once more.

"You have some type of affection towards Michael, and it is clear that he feels the same with you. You can't mess with his emotions, because another episode can happen. I want all of you guys to be happy and safe." She paused and looked at her hands. "You know. You've got it all wrong. You're just a poor unfortunate soul." She said as she looked up at me. "What does that mean?" I questioned the statement. "You're a ghost at most. A set of empty bones." With that she got up from her seat, leaving me to question the talk we just had.

I looked back at Mike, to see that he was looking back at me. My heart beat quickened. His eyes were the right shade of brown. You could get lost in them. I got up from my seat and made my way to the little group and sat next to Mike. "How are you feeling?" I asked him, he smiled. "Fine. Now that you're here.' He simply said. I chuckled. "Well look at the two love birds." Alex chimed in. "I call this beautiful creation, Perrentes." Jack said moments later.

I gave Mike a confused face. "Jack likes to give out ship names." I slightly nodded. "Alex and I are Jalex. Austin and shy little ginger Alan are Cashby. You and Mike are Perrentes." He explained. I smiled at the creativity. "Nice." Was all I said.

Maybe being here, isn't a bad thing.

I am back my Secksy Goats!!! It is a sucky chapter, with a little bit of band references. Please vote and comment. I will update as soon as possible.