Paraphernalia {Perrentes}

Paraphernalia

Two updates in two days! I am on a roll. (Lets see if I can keep it going.)

Mike

You know the feeling when you're not good enough? Like no matter what you do it is never enough. That's how I feel. It sucks, I am only a Sophomore in high school, and I already feel like my life is shit. I don't know my mom, my brother is popular and acts like he doesn't know me at school, I get bullied everyday. And to top it off, I get abused everyday by my drunk father. Should I even call him that? I mean aren't father supposed to support their children, aspire them to do better? Not mine. He believes that I ruined his life. That I led him to drink.

Ever since I was five he started beating me. I was five then so it was scary. I couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want to live anywhere else but with my brother and the person that I thought loved me. As I grew older, I realized that he never loved me. He never cared. The only thing he cared about was my brother Vic and my mother Vivian. Or at least that's what I've heard her name was. I sighed and continued my way to the bathroom.

It was just another normal Tuesday afternoon. I get lunch and then make my way to the bathroom. It kind of sucked, knowing that you have a brother that goes to the same school as you, but acts like he doesn't know you. I felt a tear fall down my face as I slid down the wall next to the door. I guess this was a little unsanitary, but you have to do what you have to do right? I took a bite out of what looked like a hamburger, and set it back down on my tray.

The door opened moments later, revealing a boy. But of course it would be a boy, this was the boys bathroom. He had jet black spikey hair. He was tan. He had a sleeve on one arm and a couple tattoos on the other. I guess he didn't see me though, because he walked passed me. I didn't say anything though, I just admired the boy.

I couldn't see his eyes, but I bet you they were perfect. "Are you going to talk?" The boy asked. I quickly averted my attention back to my tray, trying to find the right words. Or at least say something to make him think I'm not some weird emo kid. "Well my name is Jaime. What is yours?" I just looked at him. I had a clear view of his eyes this time. They were dark brown. They were the right size and shape. I was taken away.

"Uh. Mike?" It came out more of a question than a statement. He just chuckled. He dried his hands and sat down next to me. "Your Vic's brother right?" I nodded slowly. I was a little taken back, because nobody has noticed me, let alone asked me if I was related to Vic. He chuckled once more. "Funny. You're nothing like him." He stated. I nodded, as I took another bite out of my burger.

"Well, I'm not the family favorite. So." I explained, he only gave me a questioning look this time. The bell rang before we could discuss anything else. I quickly got off the floor and threw my tray in the trash. I went back to my spot and grabbed my backpack.

"Wait. I need help." Jaime yelled just as I was about to walk out the door. I turned around and gave him a questioning look. "What?" I asked. "I cant seem to find your number. I thought I had it. But I don't." He said with a smirk. I couldn't help but laugh. I took grasp of his phone and typed my name and number into it. I handed it back to him. Our fingers lightly touching. I felt a little spark growing in the pit of my stomach.

I smiled slightly which caused Jaime to do the same thing. I walked away, and made my way to the double doors that were located at the front of the school. I made my way down the steep concrete stairs. Slowly walking to the park not far from the school or my house. This was a daily routine of mine. Attend the first half, eat lunch and skip the rest.

I smoked a cigarette on the way there. This helped me calm down and think about the event that occurred moments before. I smiled slightly as I made my way to a swing. Slowly rocking back and forth thinking about what my life would have been like if my mom would have lived. If my dad would have never picked up the whiskey bottle. I sighed and put my cigarette out.

As the school year went by, Jaime and I started spending ,ore time together. We started off as friends, and then we progressed into something more. I guess Vic was a little upset about Jaime and I's relationship, because he never really hung out with Jaime like he used to. I had thoughts about him having a crush on him, but then again, they didn't talk that much to begin with. Jaime told me not to worry about it, so I didn't.

Up until the day I walked in on them. It was like my heart was ripped out of my body. The same day I lost a boyfriend was the same day I lost a brother. Even though we never really had a connection. I mean sure we would stick up for one another and make sure that we were taken care of. But we never talked or played together. It was always like we were roommates. I was left with all the painful memories of the pain they caused. I was left with memories of the good times Jaime and I shared.

I was stuck with the caraphernelia. Not Jaime nor Vic. They go to live their lives while I was stuck with the crimson red liquid running down my arms and onto the floor beneath my feet. They got to show the love they had for one another. While I got to show the love that I had for the small piece of metal that landed me in Green Grove. The love and passion on how much I wanted to feel numb. The passion that I had for not wanting to feel anything.

But Tony came along and he changed that. He made me want to feel something. He made me want to change for the better. But instead he was like another Jaime. He played with my heart. And now. Now I have Alex.

There is one more flashback chapter after this one. Can you guys who it is? Please vote and comment my little Secksy Goats. (I have decided that I was going to write a sequel. But I do not know how many parts this book will have.)