Paraphernalia {Perrentes}

Murder The Moment

Alex

Everything was a blur. The whole situation was blow out of proportion, but then again, so is the love I have for Mike. "Alex. Did you hear me?" I heard Mike asked me, I slowly shook my head. "We can't talk anymore. At least for a week." He said looking down at his feet. I gave him a shocked look. "What do you mean? I thought we had something special and for you to throw it away." I said standing up. He looked at me with disbelief. "We didn't have anything special. It was just. It was a misunderstanding." He said. That hurt. I felt my heart break in two. To hear someone say that what you had was nothing. That you had no connection. That everything was a lie. Hurt.

I slowly nodded with tears streaming down my face. "I hope he loves you that way I did." I whispered before walking out. He didn't say nor do anything. He just stood there like a statue. I turned the corner to see both Nurse Gunn and Tony staring at me. "I am so sorry." I told Tony as I walked by him. He didn't say anything. But his said it all. He was hurt. We both were. I just sighed and made the short journey back to my room.

Once there, I couldn't help but think of the situation that went down. I was hurt and shocked at the same time. Tony was in max. I kissed Mike. According to Alexander, he should have been in max for at least a week. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I wanted this to be a dream. I wish that I was sleeping but I'm not.

When I was with Mike, I was on a high. Everything felt like a dream. None of it felt real. When I was away from him, I felt the harsh effects that the world had to offer. I felt the urges, the depression. I felt it all. I was scared and alone at the same time. I laid down and thought about the day that I would be leaving. I would see my best friend. The person that I am supposed to be with. Brian MacDonald. I smiled at the thought of his name.

There was a knock at the door, taking me out of my thoughts. I slowly got up and opened the door, but quickly closing it. "Please open the door. I just want to talk." Tony sighed in the other side. I slowly put my hand on the knob once more. I opened it and moved to the side so he could come in.

I closed the door and sat down on my bed. "You can sit." I suggested. He nodded his head. "I don't plan on staying long." Was all he said. I nodded and waited for him to continue. "You know, I was hurt when I saw you and Mike kissing. It was like I was reliving my last relationship." He began. I only looked down at the ground below me. "Seeing you guys was the highlight of my day. Simply because I knew you guys wouldn't last." That hurt. But then again it was true. Mike and I were only toxic for each other.

"You only stared at him with you lips and tongue. You never really loved him. You just wanted something to numb the pain. And I totally get that. I just hope you meet the one that is for you." And with that he was gone.

Mike

After Alex left, Nurse Gunn and Tony marched in. "Are you going to be okay?" Nurse Gunn asked Tony, he simply nodded and walked out the room, leaving only the two of us. I sighed and looked at the short tattooed boy. He looked so different from when he first walked in. His eyes had crows feet under them. His skin was pale a little, but was still the same shade of tan. He looked older. I sighed and looked down at the ground. Guilt rushing threw my body.

I waited for him to say something. I waited for the silence to be broken. "What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead." I looked up at him, tears were begging to fall down his face. I stepped closer, but he only backed away. "I lost two important people in my life. Both in the same day. And seeing you kiss him. Hurt. But it made me happy." I gave him a confused look.

"Seeing you kiss him, made me realize that he never loved you. But you. You were confused. You didn't know who had your heart, and when you saw me walk in, you felt guilty." He paused and walked a little closer to me. "Mike you are my chemical. You are my drug. If I am not around you, I feel sick. But when I am next to you, life feels so much more amazing." He paused and grabbed my hand.

"It's hard to be what you need. Because what you need is someone to be strong. You need someone that is going to care for you. Someone who isn't going to freak out and hide in the corner. And you and I both know that isn't me. But society wants me to fail. Society wants me to think that I cant date you. When all reality, I don't want me to date you. Because if I do, then I know that I will be head over heels for you." He said with tears rolling down his face. I brought him closer to my chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he did the same.

"I'm scared to. But we've made it this far. Either of us could be dead, but were not. Tony, I love you. No, I am in love with you. Being with you is the best feeling ever. Every minuet that goes by I wish I was with you. I cant stand not hugging you. Kissing you. Or even talking to you. You complete the whole in my heart and we both know that I do the same for you." I told him, he pulled away form our embrace and looked at me.

"We're just ghosts. Outsiders. Misfits. The strays. Nobody cares about us. They don't care about us. But I care about you. And that is the scary part. I've loved so many people and they have left me. They've died. And it is because of me. Mike. They died because of me. That's why I think it I best for us to not talk. At least for a week." His statement took me by surprise.

"Tony, please don't do this. I love you. We can make this work." I plead, but he said nothing. "I'm a martyr. I will only hurt you." Was all he said before letting go of my hands and walking away. Leaving me in a room. A white room with nothing but my silent pleas and cries. I needed him. He made life worth living, without him. I am nothing. I am a broken soul. A fallen angel.

So, I am sad to say that this is slowly coming to an end. BUT!!!! I am writing a sequel. But instead of writing about their life after they get out and everything, I am going to be telling you more about how life was before they got there. So childhood and everything of that sorts.  Anyway, please vote and comment thoughts and ideas. I love you my little Secksy Goats.

Also, school is starting soon, so I might not be updating as much. And when I do update, the chapters might not be as long. I might go back to one P.O.V per chapter... I am so sorry guys, just know that I hate doing this, but I love you all.