When it poured in Huntsville (BWWM)

20

Logan's POV

I was mad. More than mad. I was furious. I didn't even know where to start. It was like the whole damn world had something to say about my life, and no one seemed to care how it was wrecking me. My parents, my teammates, even the damn recruiters... they all had their opinions. But who was gonna be there for me? Who was gonna stand by me the way Jayde had?

I looked out at the dark street, the headlights of my truck cutting through the night. She was gone. She walked away, and no one understood why it felt like my damn heart was getting ripped out of my chest.

I slammed my hand against the side of the truck, growling under my breath, so angry I couldn't even think straight. Hell, I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I wanted to punch something—anything—to get this pain outta me.

"Dammit!" I kicked the tire with all the force I had left, the sound of my boot slamming against metal echoing in the empty street.

I could feel the burn in my chest, the frustration building. The anger, the confusion, the hurt—it was all mixed up in one big mess inside me. "She don't get it," I muttered, kicking the tire again. "She don't know what she's doin'. Ain't nobody ever loved me like that girl. Ain't nobody ever made me feel like I was worth somethin'."

The anger made my blood boil, and I stood there for a moment, staring down at the pavement. Everything was so damn loud in my head. My mom, my coach, everyone telling me what I needed to do. But none of 'em knew what it was like to lose the only person who ever saw me for who I really was.

My hands balled into fists, trembling with the rage I couldn't contain. "I shoulda known better," I growled, my thick accent cutting through the silence, deep and rough, like a shot of whiskey straight down my throat. "I shoulda done better. Hell, I shoulda fought for her from the start."

I ran my hands through my hair, the weight of it all crashing down on me. I had everything stacked against me—my mom, my dad, my future—but none of that mattered. What mattered was her. Jayde. And I had let her walk away.

My eyes burned but I wasn't raised to cry I refused to let em fall. I wasn't weak. I wasn't gonna let this beat me. But damn, it hurt like hell.

"She ain't gone for good," I muttered, gritting my teeth. "I won't let her be."

But even as the words left my mouth, I knew that nothing was gonna make this right. Not tonight.

I found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table with that same fake calm expression she always wore. My mom. The one person who had always pushed me to be something I wasn't. The one person who had torn my world apart with a single look.

I didn't even knock. I just barged right in,

"Logan," she started, her voice cold but I didn't care.

"Don't 'Logan' me!" I snapped, my southern accent thick and rough, laced with pain. "You ruined everything. I didn't have a chance in hell with Jayde 'cause you decided to pull your damn strings and wreck it all. You never wanted me to be happy, did you? You just wanted me to be a damn football player. You don't care about me, you care about where I can go in life."

She blinked, her eyes widening with a mixture of shock and disbelief, but she didn't say a word. Good. I didn't need her to say anything.

"I loved her, Ma. And you took that from me. You think you're protecting me, but you're not. You're makin' me lose everything I care about," I continued, my voice growing louder, getting more mad with each word. "All you do is control me. You don't care about my feelings, or Lydia's, or anyone but yourself. And now Jayde's gone, and I can't even fix it."

Her lips parted, but still, she didn't say anything. That silence made me angrier.

"Hell, you never even cared about me enough to understand. You never even thought to see who I really am—just a kid, tryin' to make somethin' of myself, tryin' to be happy." I took a step forward, glaring down at her. "You broke me. You broke us. And I'll never forgive you for it. But you finally got what you wanted"

I turned, my fists clenched, and stormed out of the kitchen without waiting for a response. I didn't care anymore.

But as I made my way up the stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Lydia.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were red, her face pale, like she'd been holding in tears for a while. She looked up at me, and my heart shattered.

I couldn't let her see me like this. She loved Jayde. Hell, she thought of her like an older sister. And I knew it hurt her to see everything falling apart like this.

"Lydia," I said softly, walking over and sitting down next to her.

She wiped her eyes quickly, as if trying to hide the fact she'd been crying, but I saw right through it.

"I'm sorry, Logan," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I miss Jayde."

I sighed, my chest heavy with the weight of everything I was carrying. I could've broken right there. Seeing my little sister like this made everything even harder.

"I know,," I said, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. Sucking my teeth letting these past few days sink in "I miss her too."

She sniffled, her small frame shaking with quiet sobs. I could feel the tears building up in my own eyes, but I didn't let them fall. I had to be strong for her.

"You guys are just fighting right?" Lydia asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard, staring at the floor. "No she said it was too much Lyd... know its for the better."

I looked at her then, "But I need to step up I messed up. I didn't realize how much things hurt her, and I let everything else—everything else in my life—get in the way of what mattered most."

Lydia sniffled, nodding, but I could see the confusion in her eyes. I knew she felt the pain. She always did.

"I didn't want this to happen. But sometimes, even when you love someone so damn much, it just isn't enough."

Lydia leaned into me, pressing her small head against my shoulder. "It wasn't your fault, Logan. You're always trying to fix everything. It's like the universe doesn't work in y'all's favor"

"Yeah... I guess not" her words hit too hard and she didn't even know

"You'll make it right, Logan. You always do."

I closed my eyes for a second, holding onto that small bit of hope, and for the first time that night, I felt like I wasn't completely alone.