Beyond The Lie

Chapter 36: A moment of truth

Adeline.

I stepped into the apartment, the soft glow of the TV illuminating the room. The 15-minute drive had felt like an eternity, my mind reeling with the events of the night. I was surprised to find Liv and Soph awake, engrossed in a movie. Liv, typically a night owl, was expected, but Soph usually retired early.

As I entered, Liv called out, "Hey Addie!" without tearing her gaze from the screen. I stood there, frozen, as a mix of emotions swirled inside me - anger, guilt, sadness, pain, and longing. The room seemed to shrink, the air thickening with tension.

Soph, sensing my presence, turned to face me. Her eyes narrowed, concern etched on her features. "You good?" she asked, rising from the couch. Liv finally looked up, her expression a mask of curiosity.

I remained silent, unsure of how to articulate the turmoil brewing inside. Soph took a step closer, her voice softening. "Addie, what happened?" The concern in her tone was palpable, and I felt a lump form in my throat.

I took a deep breath, the words spilling out in a hesitant tone. "I was working late... and Eryx came to the studio." Liv's eyes sparkled with intrigue, but Soph's gaze remained steady, encouraging me to continue.

"And...?" Soph prompted, her voice gentle.

I paused, the memory of Eryx's words, his touch, and his eyes burning in my mind. "Did he argue with you?" Soph asked, her brow furrowed.

Argue? It would have been easier if we had argued. The tension between us had been palpable, the air charged with unspoken emotions. I thought back to the moment, the sensation of his fingers brushing against mine, the spark that had ignited between us.

I shook my head, and Soph's eyes locked onto mine, filled with patience and understanding. "Then?" she asked, her voice soft.

I hesitated, unsure of how to reveal the truth. "We... almost kissed," I whispered, the words barely audible.

Soph's eyes widened slightly, and she turned to Liv, who gave me a disbelieving stare. "Kissed?" Liv asked, shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch. "Are you serious?"

I opened my mouth to explain, but Liv cut me off. "So, are you planning to give yourself false hope and get hurt by that liar?" she asked, her tone laced with concern and a hint of accusation.

I protested, my voice firm and loud. "He's not a liar!" But Liv's gaze held mine, and I felt a surge of defensiveness. "We didn't lie to each other, Liv. We lied to everyone else. We both did!"

Liv's expression remained skeptical. "Exactly, you both lied! It's a lie, Addie. Are you this fool? You know this is an act, and you guys almost kissed-"

I cut her off, my anger rising. "I didn't know what else to do, okay?! You can easily say to avoid and to stop this, but I can't!!! It's not easy as you say, Liv!! When..." I paused, gathering my thoughts as emotions swirled inside me.

"When he's near me... I feel like I'm drowning in his presence. I don't see any flaws in him," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "When I look into his eyes... I don't see any lie in them. It's like he's sucking me in, and I'm powerless to stop it."

I paused, taking a deep breath as I struggled to articulate the turmoil inside me. "And when... when I'm near him, I lose all control. My thoughts are consumed by him. It's making me sick, Liv. Even when he's not around, he's still all I can think about."

I stopped, my eyes welling up with tears. Then, I continued, my voice cracking with emotion. "I know this is all an act, and he's just pretending to care. But today... when we were alone together at night... I swear, his eyes told a different story. Maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I couldn't see any deception in them."

I looked at Liv, my eyes pleading for understanding. "Maybe I'm setting myself up for more hurt, but I couldn't help how I feel. He's not a jerk or a liar, Liv. You should've heard the way he talked to me today. He's always been like that with me."

My voice rose, desperation creeping in. "I know I'm going to hurt myself, and maybe others, but I couldn't just let him go without feeling more hurt and pain. Okay? Try to understand, Liv!"

With that, I turned and paced to my room, closing the door behind me. The room fell silent, the only sounds the distant hum of the TV and the gentle patter of the rain outside.

Eryx.

I drove aimlessly, the rain pounding against my windshield like a relentless drumbeat. The stress was suffocating, and I needed an escape. My car veered off the main road, onto a deserted path flanked by tall grasses that swayed in the wind. I pulled over, resting my head on the wheel as I let out a deep sigh.

My eyes drifted shut, and suddenly, I was back in that moment.

Her eyes locked onto mine, sparkling with a hint of curiosity, of vulnerability. There was no hatred, no anger - just a deep, unspoken connection. Our faces were inches apart, the air thick with tension. I could smell the sweet scent of her hair, the subtle perfume on her skin. My heart racing, I remembered how she didn't pull away, but instead, leaned in closer, her breath dancing across my skin.

I raised my head, my eyes snapping open, but the memory lingered, refusing to fade. The sensation of her proximity still lingered on my skin, a ghostly reminder of what could have been.

I rubbed my forehead with my hand, trying to massage away the frustration and regret. The memory of our lips brushing against each other still lingered, taunting me with what could have been. We had both wanted it, desperately, but I had let my emotions get the better of me.

"Damn it!" I slammed my fist on the steering wheel, feeling like a failure. I should have controlled myself, been more aware of the situation. Now, I had ruined everything. She would never talk to me again, and I couldn't blame her.

I let out a deep sigh, feeling the weight of my mistakes bearing down on me. Why had I let my desires cloud my judgment? Why had I risked everything for a moment of passion? The questions swirled in my mind, but I knew the answer.

Adeline. She was more than just a fleeting attraction. I couldn't deny the truth anymore. When she was close to me, her proximity ignited a primal urge within me. All I wanted was to envelop her in my arms, holding her so tightly that she'd never escape. The thought of anyone else touching her was unbearable.

My thought lingered on her lips, plump and inviting. I yearned to claim them, to kiss her until she was breathless and lost in the moment. My fingers itched to explore every curve of her body, to memorize the contours of her skin. The softness of her neck, the swell of her hips, the gentle rise of her breasts - I wanted it all. Every inch of her was a treasure I longed to discover, to savor, and to make mine.

Today was a reckoning. What happened between us wasn't supposed to happen. Not because we're just actors in this twisted drama, but because now that we've crossed this line, all I can think about is how to make it real. How to make her mine.

But what's holding me back? Is it fear of ruining the fragile balance between us? Or is it something deeper? I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. The connection between us is palpable, a living, breathing thing that pulses with every beat of our hearts.

We're past attraction, past infatuation. We're attached, deeply and irrevocably. I see it in the way she looks at me, in the way her eyes soften when we're close. I feel it in the way my heart skips a beat when she's near.

She says she wants to leave, to walk away from this mess we've created. But I know she doesn't mean it. Not really. If she did, her eyes wouldn't hold that spark of longing, that glimmer of hope. They wouldn't whisper secrets to me in the dead of night.

I'm scared, though. Scared of what might happen if we take this to the next level. Scared of losing control, of losing myself in her. Scared of not being able to turn back. But most of all, I'm scared of not trying.