What Would've Happened

Will This Work?

(New title again!! Sorry, I have this amazing app now! I love making covers on it!)

It had been two weeks since we dropped Mac off at the psychiatrist's office. He hadn't been home since, yet I always visited him during his sessions. I stood behind a one way view mirror, and watched his progress. He was doing extremely well, and little bangs did have an effect on him anymore. Except he'd flinch, but that was it. He didn't react much to photos alone, but videos set him off. I usually came alone and left Maria with my mom or Melissa, or, as she called her, Auntie Mel.

But today, I was bringing her to watch her fathers progress. She was sitting in the back of the red truck, licking a chocolate ice cream cone. It was her favorite flavor.

"Maria, sweetie, we're going to visit Daddy today." I declared, looking at her through the rear view mirror. She stiffened noticeably.

"Do we have to?" She mumbled, her eyes wide with fear. It hurt a little, to see her so reluctant to visit her dad.

"Yes. Don't you want to see your daddy?" I asked, stopping at a red light.

"No. He's scary!" She whined.

"Look, your daddy misses you very much. Don't you miss him?" I demanded. It was heartbreaking to see his own daughter terrified of going to see him.

She hesitated before nodding her head. "I miss the old Daddy. Not the new one." She declared.

"I know. And the doctors are fixing him. He's getting better, I promise." I swore, hoping I was right. "And besides, we're gonna be behind a big window. He won't see us, but we'll see him."

"Really?" Maria asked, her eyes widening with wonder. I nodded, smiling. At least she wasn't scared anymore.

But how long would it last?

...

In the doctors office, we were led to Mac's office. Or room. Whatever you wanted to call it. The nurse who led us know me fairly well. I was holding Maria's hands while she nervously licked her ice cream. She still wasn't finished.

We were led to Mac's room, which was the same one we left him at. I was surprised. Mac was laying on a cot, with headphones in and his eyes closed. He was also wearing a white beanie. James was sitting at a desk, typing away on the computer. When we entered, he smiled at us.

"Mommy? Where's the glass?" Maria asked.

"Um..." I mumbled, confused.

"Angie, we were wondering if you'd like to help with today." James asked.

"Oh, er, well, I brought my daughter to watch his progress." I explained, gesturing to Maria. She bit into the waffle cone nervously.

"She can still watch. She can sit by me if she'd like and watch her daddy's brain working." He offered. Maria's eyes widened.

"You can see my Daddy's brain!" She exclaimed.

"Yep. Wanna see?" He offered. She nodded excitedly and went over to him. She stared in awe at the computer monitor. "You see how those lines are calm and smooth? That's because he's calm right now."

"So when he's having a 'scare', they get crazy?" She observed. I swallowed. James nodded.

"Yep. So hopefully, they stay calm today." James declared. Then he got up, allowing Maria to sit in the chair and watch her fathers brain waves. James went over to Mac, and unplugged the headphones. His eyes shot open, and connected with James. He hadn't noticed his fiancé or daughter yet.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Angie and Maria are here to see you." James stated. Immediately, Mac glanced at me. A smile spread across his face.

"Hey honey." I mumbled, smiling at him. I missed him, yet was glad he was getting help.

"Hi." He murmured, standing up.

"They're getting faster and higher!" Maria exclaimed from the monitor. "And turning purple!"

James went over to her, and Mac glanced at her. "That's because your daddy's getting happy." James explained.

"Daddy! I can see your brains!" Maria squealed, pointing at the screen. Mac smiled at her, then glanced back at me.

"How've you been doing?" I asked, taking a step closer to him. He took another step, Maria's eyes widening at the monitor.

"Why're they going faster and turning yellow?" She asked.

"That's because he's nervous." James explained.

"I've been doing good. How about you?" He asked.

"I've been fine. We've missed you." I said, smiling a little. Although I've known Mac for years now, it felt like he was a stranger. Someone I didn't love anymore... He's been gone for so long and so many times, I just didn't know how I felt towards him. Was it possible that I fell out of love with him?

"Honey? You ok?" Mac's question broke me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?" I mumbled.

"I asked you if Sean had treated you correctly. Are you ok?" Mac repeated, gently grabbing my hand.

"Yeah, sorry. I was thinking." I mumbled.

"About what?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering how your treatment was going." I lied. I wasn't going to tell Mac that I was falling out of love with him.

"It's doing really well. How about Sean? He's been treating you good, right?" Mac repeated his question.

"Sean helped a lot. And remember my cousin, Tammy?" I asked. Mac nodded. "Well, they've been hitting it off." I stated, smiling a little. Mac chuckled.

"Sounds like him." He joked, chuckling a little.

"Yep. Dylan likes him, so that's a start."

"Yeah." Then there was an awkward silence. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby." I murmured, stepping forward. He gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and my heart leapt. But it wasn't in excitement or love, it was in fear. I tried not to show I was scared, and smiled.

"I love you honey. I love you so much." He murmured, leaning down an kissing my deeply.

That's when I felt the little knots in my stomach. And I didn't feel so hot. I pulled away, holding my stomach. "Angie? You ok babe?"

"Yeah. Not feeling that good, though. Must've been some bad chicken Maria and I had. We came from Dairy Queen, if you didn't notice her ice cream." I knew very well it wasn't food sickness. It was something much different. I'll tell him when I'm positive.

Before I could tell Mac what I thought was happening, James stepped forward. "Angie, I have some very good news." He stated. "Mac has been doing exceptionally well in all his tests. His little 'scares' are becoming rarer and rarer. I think it's ok for him to come home for a night."

My eyes widened, and I smiled. Turning to Mac, he had a look of shock on his face. I squealed and jumped into his arms. Mac caught me, and held me bridal style.

"Babe you can come home!" I squealed.

Who was I kidding? I was in love with this man still.