I Hate The Way You Love

17 - Fearfulness

Seungkwan anxiously stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, dressed in navy blue velvet pajamas and matching shorts. His fingers clutched a small digital stick tightly as he leaned on the marble sink for support, his heart pounding erratically. The nerves almost made him throw up, but the sensation never fully came as he waited.

He couldn't bring himself to check the result after using the digital stick, fear rooting him in place. The uncertainty gnawed at him, each passing second feeling heavier than the last.

"Oh, God..." he whispered, his voice barely audible as his head hung low. "Should I be happy if it's true?" he murmured, biting his lip nervously. "Or... would I feel relieved if it isn't?"

A sudden knock on the bathroom door made him jump, pulling him out of his spiraling thoughts. His heart raced even faster, practically echoing in his ears.

"Kwan, are you in there?" Mingyu's deep voice called from the other side.

Panicking, Seungkwan spun around and instinctively hid the stick behind his back, tucking it under his shirt just as Mingyu stepped inside. His towering husband entered casually, wearing nothing but underwear, his honey-caramel skin and solid, well-built body glowing under the bathroom light. A familiar warmth rose to Seungkwan's cheeks, but this time, his nerves outweighed his usual flustered reaction.

"A—huh..." was all Seungkwan could manage to say.

Mingyu walked over to the sink, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste. As he started brushing his teeth, he frowned at Seungkwan's tense reflection in the mirror. "What were you just doing?" he asked, his words slightly muffled by the foam.

Seungkwan froze, staring blankly at him. After a beat, he stammered, "I—I just... washed my face."

Mingyu grunted in response, rinsing his mouth before splashing water on his face. "Wanna shower together?" he asked casually.

"No!" Seungkwan blurted out, his voice louder than intended. The sudden outburst startled them both.

"I mean..." he added quickly, fumbling to recover, "it's still cold. I'll shower later."

Without waiting for a response, he bolted out of the bathroom, clutching the pregnancy test tightly under his shirt, leaving Mingyu behind, confused and raising an eyebrow at his odd behavior.

Yes, a pregnancy test.

After piecing everything together—his unusual cravings and other symptoms—Seungkwan began to suspect he might be pregnant. It wasn't his first time, after all. He was already familiar with the signs, though he had been slow to realize it this time.

After wrestling with his thoughts all day yesterday, he had finally mustered the courage to buy a test before Mingyu got home from work. And this morning, as soon as he woke up, he used it. But the fear of what the result might reveal kept him from looking.

Now, the test was hidden in Seungkwan's drawer, hastily tucked away as he leaned his back against it, ensuring Mingyu wouldn't see—a secret waiting to be uncovered, one he wasn't ready to face just yet.