Delicate

daddy issues

୭ ˚○◦˚. Theo ୭ ˚○◦˚.

"The cut that always bleeds"

July 15, 2003

The worst part of my father's wrath was that I was the one who had to take it. I was the only son, the only protector of my little sisters.

I had turned fourteen a few weeks ago, a day that consisted of me being beaten so hard stars clouded my vision. Maybe not actual stars, but metaphorical ones that taunted me with their sparkling presence. I definitely had a concussion that I was sure would never heal, considering I took beating after beating.

I did it for my sisters, that's what I told myself each time pain ricocheted through my body. For every beating I took, they were spared.

"Hi," Mia poked her head into my room, her green eyes alight with worry. "I made you some tea, it should settle your stomach."

I ran a shaky hand over my face. My stomach was only unsettled because dad had punched it too many times to count.

"Thanks, Mimi," I forced a smile. "How are you holding up?"

"I should be the one asking you that," she shrugged.

"I'm grand," I lied, "just a little tired."

She sighed, shaking her head in the process. "You might have to lie to Ivory, but you don't have to lie to me. I know I'm only eleven, but I'm not stupid." She climbed into bed next to me and crossed her arms over her chest, "drink your tea, you've eaten nothing in the past two days."

Mostly because I couldn't keep anything down and partly because I felt too sick to eat. My life was falling to pieces, shattering the souls of my siblings and I with each passing day.

It hurt me to see how badly it affected my family. Mia was extremely mature for her age, far more mature than most eleven year olds. I guess that's what happens what you have to parent yourself.

I pulled the mug of tea to my lips and took a sip, trying not to wince in pain from the shift in position.

"Theo?" Mia sighed.

"Yeah?"

"Will we ever get out of here?" She asked, sadness washing over her features. "Will we ever escape him?"

My heart seized in my chest at her words. I wanted to give her hope, I wanted to make it better for her. In honest to god truth, I felt as if I would die in this house. By the hands of my father or from the invisible noose tightening around my throat.

"Yeah," the lie burned my throat. "I'll get us out of here."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

୭ ˚○◦˚. Theo ୭ ˚○◦˚.

April 28, 2005

Sitting in the changing rooms after practice, I rubbed my freshly washed hair with a towel while I packed up my shit.