"Lovely"

Part Forty Six (Louis)

Part Forty Six (Louis)

After the accident, I can barely walk without being bombarded with pain, so naturally, after this incident, I wasn't in the best of shape to begin with. I practically begged for Harry, and he didn't come. He knew, he fucking knew that I couldn't have overpowered Liam even when I was at my full strength, let alone when my bones were in pieces. Why would he let me do that by myself? Why would he check his fucking phone while I was a step away from getting beaten down?

All these questions and more flooded into my head as I rushed into the staff bathroom, my crutches barely staying under my arms.

"Louis!" Leigh shouted after me, "Louis, wait!"

By the time I had reached the bathroom, I collapsed under myself onto the floor, hyperventilating. Leigh had let herself in behind me and closed the door, ensuring it was locked before she sat down.

"Are you alright?" she asks calmly.

I have half a mind to completely blow my lid at her, about everything Harry had done. Leaving me at the hospital, ignoring me, and now throwing me to the sharks when I needed him most. He was so self centered it blew my mind.

However, instead of voicing any of these issues to Leigh, I sit on the floor in a puddle of my own tears.

"I thought.. I thou- I" I stutter, trying to collect myself, "I thought he loved me."

I knew that Harry hadn't stayed out of everything out of a lack of love for me, but rather for a concern of his reputation if everyone found out we were together. Either way, it was just as bad. I was so sick to death of Harry putting himself first, and his irrational fear of coming out above his love for me. He only cared about himself, and he wasn't willing to budge on the coming out thing. I loved Harry, but enough was enough.

"I think I've had enough, Leigh." I say clearly, my voice empty and dead, "I'm going to break up with him."

"As you should, he's an asshole, Louis, you can do so much better than him. You deserve so much better."

I nod my head in agreement.

"And," she adds, "if it makes you feel better, I dumped my milk on him before I came after you."

For the first time in almost two weeks, I laugh out loud, picturing Harry covered in milk and trying to cover the reason why.

That fucking prick.

~

Just as I'm about to start opening up to Leigh about everything the bell rings and I'm supposed to be going off to class. Leigh walks me all the way to the front office before she heads to her third period class. I decide against class, I've had enough for today. It's time to go home.

The receptionist signs me out on the attendance, and I start my walk home. I'm about a block away from the school when I hear footsteps behind me.

Harry.

"Lou, wait!" he calls after me, running to catch up. "Please, Lou just let me explain!"

"What do you want Harry?!" I yell, trying my best to get my anger across, "Would you like to watch me step in front of another car?! Is that what you want?!"

Harry goes to place his hand on my shoulder and stop me, but I don't let him.

"Lou, please-"

"Shut it Harry! There is nothing that you can say to me! I wouldn't want you to have to burden you longer than I need to!"

I try to storm off but Harry retaliates.

"That's bullshit and you know it Louis! You know that I can't come out yet, and you know that Liam's about to out me! Maybe if you weren't so god damn proud of your fucking sexuality this wouldn't be as much of an issue!"

"So you think I shouldn't have come out? That's what you want? I hate to say I'm really not all that surprised."

Harry stops me, his voice settling a little, "Please just let me explain."

"No Harry, I'm not going to do that. You're more than willing to watch me suffer every single day just to cover your own ass, and hold onto your fake friends! That's bullshit, and I know that you know it."

At this point, I'm fuming. I can tell that Harry is as well, but he's holding his tongue, likely because he knows that I'm right.

"Lou, I did it for you," he stammers, "for...for us!"

"If any part of what you just did to me was for us, you would've stood up for me, you would've followed after me, or said something to Liam, but you did nothing! Nothing! You're a self-absorbed ass hole Harry, and I'm sick of taking all of the heat for what we're doing together."

I've let go of all my tears, giving up completely on holding them back.

"What you did was entirely for you."

"Louis," he says quietly, "I want to come out, I really do, and I want to be with you, all the time, but I can't do it... not yet."

"Harry, you're just holding yourself back. I'm not going to have the coming out argument with you again. It's on you now."

I lift my hands as if to surrender, and Harry doesn't say anything.

I choke, "What happened between you and Liam at the hospital?"

Harry lets his gaze hit the ground.

"Harry." I state, loudly, "What happened. Tell me now."

"Lou," he sighs, "I don't think you want to know. It's why I avoided you. It's why I didn't tell you."

"Tell me Harry."

He takes a deep breath.

"Liam wants to be with you, and if I don't break up with you within the week, Liam will out me."

I have no words.

"Lou..." he starts, "I was going to out Liam, then he'd be off our backs about all this."

I try to speak, but the words escape me.

"Lou.. I was just...I was so confused about what to do. I don't want to leave you..." he stutters, "I love you, Louis, but at the same time I don't want to be outed. I'd be done for. I'd lose all my friends."

"But it was okay when I lost all my friends, and when I was hit by a car, twice, and then out casted at school? It was okay because it wasn't you? That makes it fine?"

Harry is stumbling over his words, "No! Of course it doesn't! It's just... it's such a massive decision."

"It's really not, Harry." I snap, "But you don't need to worry about it anymore, because we're done."

"Lou..." Harry's eyes water, "Lou... please don't do this, I love you."

The sound of Harry's voice cracking under his tears breaks my heart. After a quick moment of regaining my composure, I look up to meet Harry's eyes.

"Goodbye Harry."